Noites Dos Sonhos
by warinbabylon
Summary: Carnival in the twenty second century was meant to repair the friendship between them, but for the Doctor and Tegan it is a time of adventure that forges in them something completely new.
1. Default Chapter

Noites dos sonhos

Disclaimer: It's all BBC and not mine at all. Comprende? 

Author's notes: Title is Portuguese. Originally, this story started out as a take on Loups Garoux with Tegan still traveling with the Doctor, but it took on a life of its own. Currently, I'm only using a couple of the characters from the story, and the location. Beyond that, it's branching out. Takes place sometime after Resurrection of the Daleks with Tegan still aboard. Definitely AU. Definitely R.

Enjoy.

**

He watched her from the door of the cloisters. His effervescent, fiery, loud companion had been alarmingly quiet since their run-in with the Daleks often taking to sitting and staring at the walls of the cloisters for long periods. She sat on the bench at the far side under the ivy trellis, trailing her fingers through the greenery, staring at it as though she hadn't seen it previously. A part of him felt, and felt quite acutely, that she would and should have left in that warehouse. She was exceptionally unforgiving of his actions, but he had told her she was needed. Not by whom, or even what for, but he had told her she was needed and she had preceded him back into the TARDIS to stand, quietly with her eyes downcast, at the side of the console.

He wondered if he had forced her, through the blackmail of friendship, to remain where she wasn't comfortable. He hoped not, but here she remained and apparently, not happily.

He softly called her name and saw her shift. 

With a sigh and a lowered head, he stepped through the low hanging ivy to join her. "I'll need to garden in here soon. How are you, Tegan? Turlough and I have missed you these last few days."

"You know me, I'm indestructible," she answered back quietly, not glancing in his direction. "I've just felt like being alone."

He nodded and waved his hand towards the other side of the bench. "Are you up to company now?"

"Suit yourself," she muttered quietly. He turned, sweeping the tails of his coat back and sat next to her, staring out at the ivy much like she was doing. 

With a sigh, the Doctor lowered his head to stare at his hands. "Are you all right, really? You're quiet, Tegan, scarily so."

Tegan smiled tightly and turned to glance at him momentarily and then back out at the cloisters. "I'm not angry at you, you know. I justdon't agree with what you did, what you 'had' to do, Doctor. I don't. I still don't."

"I didn't kill him," the Doctor muttered, a level of anger appearing in his voice. "But you have to understand about Davros, Tegan. His deaththe Daleks are" he sighed. "I didn't kill him, Tegan and I can't apologize for wanting to kill him. And as for the rest of the Daleks" he shrugged minutely, holding his hands so the palms were up. "There should be another way, Tegan, to deal with them. But they have no conscience to appeal to."

She contemplated him. "I know that. As bad as the bloody Cybermen, they are. But Hell's Teeth, DocI just can't agree with it."

"How would you want me to handle it?" he asked, the question tinged with anger and disbelief.

"I don't know," she said, her voice rising. Then with a sigh, she patted her legs. "I don't know. But it makes the cure seem as worse as the disease and I don't know if that's good or not. I don't know how to handle them. I'm human. I don't deal with the ogre under the bridge like you Time Lords do. All I'm saying is that I'm trying to link what I know of you with what I saw and heard there, Doc. It wasn't youit was like" she bit her lip and looked away, back to the ivy.

He nodded, quiet. "I suppose you have a right to your emotions and thoughts," he replied.

"Thanks a lot," she whispered in return. 

"Do you want me to take you to Earth, Tegan? I did rather ask youI feel as though maybe you wanted to"

"Yes and no, Doc. I don't know," she answered honestly. "Just because I don't agree doesn't mean a hill of beans in the Universe, Doc. But I have to have some time towhat's the word for itwhat I know of you and what I saw thereand find what I believe now."

He lifted an eyebrow and nodded. "Would you like me to tell you that we've landed?" he joked quietly. "Or would you rather me wait?"

Tegan rolled her eyes and glanced at her friend. "Oh, please. Wait."

"Yes, well," he gave her a smile. "We are still friends, aren't we, Tegan?"

Her nod was short. "Of course. Where have we landed?"

"Twenty second century, Earth, Rio De Janeiro. Just in time for Carnival."

Her eyes widened and a small smile warmed her lips. "Carnival? You are trying for points, Doc."

"Yes, wellyou did rather look in need of a holiday and I needed down time and you like to dance. Turlough is actually looking forward to it."

Tegan smiled widely and for the first time in several days, he had a feeling the happiness she was showing was heartfelt. His smile widened and he tilted his head toward her as if to say something, but he didn't. He stared at her face as she turned it away from him, still smiling, towards the greenery. Her brown eyes were wide and large, full of life, her white teeth peeked out from between her lips, her cheeks colored slightly in her happiness, but then he saw the moment that sadness crept back into her countenance. Her face dimmed as the inner spark died as he watched.

He sighed, giving his hands an angry glance as if blaming them for his inability to make his companion happy. Then he rose, calmly pulled out his hat, placed it on his head and then graciously offered his arm to her. "If you would allow it, Miss Tegan"

With a frown, a raised eyebrow, but with a slightly lighter attitude, she reached up, rose and joined him as he walked out of the cloisters and toward the console room.

**

**

It was the music that cheered her, she thought as she stepped from her room onto the small veranda. She felt the hot breeze waft over her and breathed in the aroma of the party brewing below. She could hear the salsa and mamba music blaring; could see the feathers, beads and bright colored costumes as far as she could see; could almost taste the spiced food the aroma of which wrapped her in a wicked embrace. Tegan leaned on the iron railing and tried to inhale the party she felt growing around her.

It was almost sad that Turlough had turned down the foray into the crowd and the night to join them at the inn the Doctor had chosen, she thought. But she wanted, yearned, to just have fun and fought like a drowning woman against the riptide of depression.

"Tegan?"

Turning, she saw that the Doctor had retreated to the verandah outside his room as well. He rested in a low chair, smiling inwardly at the growing anticipation he felt in the air around him. His smile vanished as she completed her turn toward him. The sun was setting behind him; his face was in shadow to her; she couldn't tell if he was looking at her or past her. But something in his voice made her uneasy suddenly and overly warm.

"What, by Gallifrey, are you wearing?" 

In an effort to be friendly, she glanced down and smiled. "What, this old thing? I bought it an hour ago. It's a mambo dress; colorful isn't it? I thought it best to fit in with the natives," she finished, glancing back up at him. She didn't know what the commotion was from him about the dress. True, it was revealing, but then again everything in Rio at that moment was. There was a bikini top of sorts and a long slit skirt on the bottom; it showed a lot of skin, but she felt decent.

"Mambo?" the Doctor responded with a small chuckle. "You dance the mambo?"

"Of course," she nearly barked out, walking towards the railing that separated their verandahs. "Else why would I have bought this dress, Doc? I did learn a few things in life, you know."

"Oh, I don't doubt it. I just didn't know that mambo dancing was a requirement for air stewardessing," he joked. "That color is rather bright."

"And you'll just go in your trousers and shirt, won't you?" 

"That was the plan, Tegan."

"What of fitting in, Doc? You could at least get a new hat."

He tilted his head back and she could tell he was looking up at the rim of his hat. "What's wrong with my hat? It is rather my favorite."

"It's old and getting ratty, Doc," she sighed. "And"

He rose and strode over railing. "You're attempting to get my ire up, Tegan."

"Right in one," she muttered with a smile. 

As he neared the railing, she saw his eyes again, freed from the shadows. They were dark blue and half hidden by the rim of his hat. He glanced down at her feet and hummed lowly. "It won't work. I'm in too good a mood this evening, Tegan."

"Ah," she said, mock mournfully. "And here I had so hoped for familiarity. You and Carnival; oho, strike that. You and any fun aren't to be used in the same sentence so freely, Doc. It'll upset the balance in the Universe."

"Hmm," he replied, pulling down his hat and worrying it between his fingers and palms. "I do know how to have fun, Tegan. And I do know how to dance the mamba and samba."

"Ah, but no tango," she pointed out. "The question is," she began, holding out her hand to him. As he took it, she climbed over the railing to join him on his. "The question is not whether you know how, Doc, but whether you will dance them."

"No tango, Tegan," he reassured. "And I gather you don't know how to dance it either. The point of Carnival is fun; it is also for dancing. I can and will dance either or both of the dances this evening."

"If only to win the point."

He gave her a glare and frowned. "Would you like to remain on the verandah all night or would you rather join the festivities below?"

Tegan turned and glanced over the railing to the street below. The music was increasing in tempo and decibel and drew her to hold onto the metal. "Yes." 

She said it simply and quietly. When she didn't hear a comment from him and he didn't join her at the railing, she looked at him. He was leaning against the railing behind her, staring at her. "Doc?" She hoped he wasn't going to ask her again why she remained on the TARDIS. She wanted to forget about the warehouse; she wanted to forget that she had lost faith in him; she wanted to forget Daleks and Time Machines and reasons and tortures and evil. She just wanted to have fun and try to remember why she had become such close friends with him in the first place. Maybe, she thought, if I act the same, situations will occur the same.

"I suppose that was a yes for joining the festivities below."

She nodded and he turned, holding out his hand to her. "Then let's go, Tegan. So much to do, so little time in life."

**

"Can we get to the front do you think or is it as bloody unlikely as the TARDIS landing at Heathrow?" she asked loudly. 

The Doctor frowned, stopped and pulled her to stand in front of him. His hands fell to her shoulder and her waist to keep her near him and still moving forward. "Have a little faith, Miss Tegan. I'll get us to where you can see and dance to your heart's content."

She glanced up at him. His cool hands contradicted the flush at his cheeks, but he looked the same as always. "And you?" she called.

His lips cracked in a wide grin. "I'll offer myself up as a partner, if you would like."

Tegan was stopped from making a comment as they pressed into the throng around them. She couldn't see anything but people and costumes. He led her by gentle pressure against either side of her body until they broke through and found a small island of clear near the edge of the street. The parade was moving, slow and the music was loud. As they stopped, she completed their conversation. "Be careful, Doc, I just might take you up on it and then where would you be? Let's hope for your sake there're some men around here looking for a partner."

He cocked an eyebrow, taunted into a small temper by her teasing. Then with a grin, but a growing flush on his cheeks that betrayed his embarrassment, he held out his arm and took her hand. "I'll warm you up for them, then, shall I?"

"A gentleman to the last," she bit out, but then smiled, warmed by his effort. He eased her into his arms, in almost perfect mamba form as the first of the floats passed them. 

"I do try," he responded, good-naturedly. 

"Of course," she allowed. "I wouldn't-"

The sound suddenly drifted away to nothing, leaving gaping silence in her head. 

**

"Dancing? He wants to do more than dance, child."

Tegan blinked her eyes. The Doctor had turned her away from him and was leading her in more steps with his hands on her hips. The silence still thundered around her. She could see the dancers, musicians and singers milling around them. The world was a rainbow of color, bright red, blue, green, pink and purple. The world moved in silence; she was lost; everything closed in around her.

Except one pair of eyes; one man, a lone man standing on the pavement directly across from her. His eyes bore into her. She felt cold, barren, and adrift.

"He is trying to give you back happiness, isn't he, little one?"

She gaped at the man. He drew his head back, his gaze growing more intense. "You don't know me; get out of my head; what's happening?"

The man smiled. She could see his grin from where she danced with the Doctor. "You've traveled with him long enough to not panic at the thought that someone is in your head. Isn't that sad, my dear? What is happening? Don't you know?"

"Stop it. It's my mind; I want it back," she bit out desperately.

"And you are his and he wanted you back," the voice returned. Images assaulted her mind in quick succession. 

The warehouse. The cold, the pain, the absolute desperation of seeing the Doctor become a man she no longer knew. Running, feeling the pavement jar her steps through her shoes. Calling out that she would miss him. And then the scuffling of feet, the anguished call to her. The running and feeling a hand close on her arm. The twisting. The seeing that it was the Doctor that held her. That was keeping her from running. 'Please, Tegan, not like this. Stay. You're needed. Turlough and I, we need you. Don't leave me in fear and anger, please.' His hand tightening, feeling the pull of his hand to bring her into the nook of one of his arms. 'You're distraught, Tegan. Please.'

She rocked on her feet, feeling the Doctor's hand ease her to turn back toward him, but she continued her steps as she was. His hands tightened on her hips in response. 

"And you stayed with him, didn't you, child? Because you could see that he did, truly, need you. It's more than need, though. As a woman, you should know that. Feel that. He wants you to stay."

"Get out of my mind" she growled, clenching her teeth. "Stop rooting around in there. Leave me be. Get off."

"Not curious are you? To know that a Time Lord wants for something?"

"How did you –"

"Know he was a Time Lord? The same way I know that he wants more than dancing with you, my dear. I can feel it. See it, and almost taste it. You're one that likes to have things laid out for you, Tegan. I think I should show you"

"Oh, I wouldn't want to be a bother-"

Moonlight, water, rain and mud. Warmth. The only warmth around. A pair of arms. A tight whispered voice. Naked in someone's arms. He's naked as well, or mostly naked, her hands helping him divest of his trousers. Breath mingling, arms tangled, legs wrapped about each other. The night shrouding them, embracing them, enfolding them. His voice in her ear, gentle, warma whispera loving word.

"That's never happened," she moaned, shaking. She could feel the emotions rolling over her like an erotic wave. It crested and she gasped.

"It's what could happen, if you let it. My child, don't you know, don't you feel it? It's what is buried under his Time Lord training, his high and mighty, and lofty, untouchable birth. It's what he wants: You."

Tegan shook her head and felt the Doctor gently pull on her hip to make her turn. She did, slowly, keeping eye contact with the man. "Nono more," she gasped. "It's too much"

The man lifted an eyebrow and began to step back into the crowd. "It soon won't be, my dear child. Turn to your Time Lord, face him, and see your friend. Dance. I'll see you again soon. There's so much to show you, to lead you, to make the Doctor see. This world will change."

She turned, breaking contact and suddenly the sound pounded into her, nearly knocking her off her feet. Tegan reached out to lay her hands on the Doctor's shoulders, but found the ground rushing up to meet her as she crumpled from the pure strength of the returned sound.


	2. Chapter 2

"I'm quite sure she's all right."

Tegan knew that voice and felt it reverberate through her body. He's arrogant even when I'm unconscious. That's a relief, at least he doesn't just do it to get my hackles up. She blinked her eyes open expecting to feel the harsh pavement at her back, but was rather surprised to be in the Doctor's arms. The jarring she felt wasn't her falling to the pavement repeatedly; it was the Doctor's footsteps. He turned sideways, shouldering through the crowd. 

"Yes, she's all right, but I do rather think we should find her somewhere less crowded to regain her breath."

He's talking to someone, she moaned. I wonder who. As he turned again, she was brought back up close to his chest to protect her from the throng. "Doctor? Who are you talking to?"

He smiled and lowered his gaze to her. "Ah, Tegan, so glad you could join us. I'm talking to your savior, apparently. A nice woman named Illiana. She has a car nearby, closer than the inn. I'm taking you there."

Tegan raised her hand to her head and felt back around her crown with a wince. "What happened?"

His smile dimmed and he frowned. "Yes, I had rather thought you could tell what happened, Tegan. We'll discuss that when we're in a less crowded place, shall we? Since you're awake, if you could put your arms on my shoulders it would be a little easier to carry you through this bunch."

"Can't I walk?" 

"You were unconscious, Tegan. It's rather hard for a person in that state to walk, don't you think?"

She winced as he jarred her through the crowd. "My head hurts like I've been crowned with a bat."

His frown became more pronounced and he quickened his steps. She glanced over his shoulder, holding onto his neck as they pushed through the crowd. The floats and dancers were passing where they had danced. "Did we finish the dance?" she asked, tightening her hands on his shoulders. The world was still a sea of blue and purple and green. She felt his shoulders tense and then relax.

"We'll finish it another time, Tegan," he reassured. He turned again and stepped to a curb. "Thank you, Illiana." 

Tegan twisted her head as the Doctor gently eased her into a seat. She saw a medium tall, slender woman of indeterminate age holding the door open. If she concentrated, she could say that Illiana's hair was blond, but now it looked silver or white. It was impossible to tell the color of her eyes; she wore a beautiful pantsuit of bright blue. 

"I'm glad to see you're awake, Tegan," Illiana said quietly, her voice lilting with a strange accent.

"So am I," she replied. She winced as the Doctor crouched in front of her, straddling her legs. He widened her eyes with his fingers and searched them for a moment and then felt for her pulse. 

"Hmm," he commented and felt around the back of her head. 

"What's wrong?" she asked, frowning. "Did I fall on the road?"

"No, no," Illiana interjected before the Doctor could answer. "The Doctor caught you before you fell to the ground, darling. Does she need liquids, Doctor?"

"It wouldn't harm her," the Doctor replied kindly. "Could I"

"trouble my son and I to get her some? Of course you may," she answered. "Victor? Come along. We shall have to find some water or fruit juice. We shall return in a moment."

Illiana held out her hand to a boy of maybe ten years of age. It was clear he was her son; they looked exactly alike. With a final nod of thanks, the Doctor let them go. "That's unlike you," Tegan muttered as the Doctor's hands gently held her brow. 

"How so?" he pressed, feeling about her neck. "Do you feel dizzy, Tegan, sick to your stomach?"

"No. I mean you let her go off with almost nary a thank you or a glance."

"Yes, well," he muttered lowering his hands to slap them against his thighs. "I thought you might tell me more of what just happened without an audience. There's nothing physically wrong with you that I can see. What happened out there?"

Tegan frowned and adjusted her skirt to cover her legs. With a shake of her head, she began to recall. "I was dancing with you, talking and then everything went silent. But everything kept moving; I could tell- No that's not right; I could sense everything was still going on. And then there was this man."

"Man? What man?"

"He stood across from us. He just stared at me. I could hear a voice in my head. It made me remember things," she replied, closing her eyes. She could picture the man on the inside of her eyelids. 

"Tegan, what things did he make you remember?" the Doctor pressed, pushing to his feet. He slid around and sat on the running board of the vehicle. 

"No, that's not what's important, Doc," she whispered. Then her eyes opened and she fixed him with a stare. "He knew you were a Time Lord. He knew I had traveled with you a long time. He said he could just sense it."

"Did he?" the Doctor muttered, sighing. "Interesting."

"And then I turned back around and the sound came crashing in," she stated, rubbing her temples. "It was the sound that"

"It was more than the sound that caused you to faint, Tegan," the Doctor responded. "You were shivering and gasped a great deal as you turned to me. You were having a physiological reaction to something." He centered his gaze on her. "I don't think there is any lasting effect, but I do wonder what caused it. The memories perhaps"

She shook her head forcefully. "They weren't upsetting memories, Doc. He gave me the creeps and showed me really outrageous things that were pure fiction, if you ask me. Why the bloody hell everyone thinks there's a party in my mind and everyone's invited all the time is beyond me."

The Doctor frowned and searched her eyes. She steeled her gaze under his onslaught. "If it were something, Tegan, you do trust me enough to tell me wouldn't you?"

"Don't be silly," she chided. "Of course. I might be angry at you; I'm not stupid."

"Yes, well" he sighed, lowering his eyes finally. She felt like she could take a deep breath. "I don't think there's anything wrong, Tegan. What did this man look like?"

"Tall, I think" she replied, folding her arms over her chest. "Dark. Dark hair that isI couldn't see his eyes. And he woredark clothing. Didn't you see him?"

"No," he sighed. His gaze was clouded with something she couldn't really sense, but found warm. "I was concentrating on dancing with you. Ah, Illianathank you."

Tegan glanced up to see the woman in whose vehicle she sat coming back across the clearing with quick, barely measured steps. Her son, Victor, was carrying two cups of liquid. The Doctor immediately noticed the change in the woman's demeanor. He rose to take the cups from the boy. "Thank you, Victor. Illiana?"

"Tegan is recovered?" Illiana asked, quietly. 

"I'm fine," Tegan reassured. "Thank you for the use ofwhatever this is and the drinks"

"Then I must ask to leave you," she said quietly, glancing over her shoulder. "Victor, dear, into the car."

The boy nodded and ran around to the other side of the car and clambered into the interior. Tegan rose to join the Doctor, a frown on her face. The Doctor shook his head quickly to answer her unasked question. "Is there a problem, Illiana?"

Tegan glanced behind Illiana. She had a feeling that they were being watched. The woman turned and scanned the crowd as if she were looking for something or someone she knew. Suddenly Tegan saw a dark shadow in the crowd and felt a tickling in the back of her mind. Illiana met Tegan's eyes, her own wide with fear. "You feel him," she said quietly as if only for Tegan to hear.

The Doctor glanced at Tegan and frowned as his companion nodded. She ignored him, though and approached Illiana. "He knows you? He's after you?" She reached out to hold Illiana's arm. "Who is he? _What_ is he?" 

Illiana shook her head and grasped Tegan's forearms. The girl nearly moaned at the strength of the grip but kept her fearful gaze locked onto Illiana's. The piercing, yet clear blue eyes that stared back at her mirrored her terror. "He's touched your mind? Tegan?"

Tegan looked past Illiana's face to the crowd. A lone man stood in the mill of the crowd, his dark gaze trained on her and on Illiana. She could see that he wore dark clothing, a dark rich blue and his hair was both gray and black. She couldn't tell what he was doing or exactly where he was looking; everything seemed to be fuzzy around him. "Yes," she breathed. "He's in the crowd."

"He's after Victor and I," Illiana choked out quickly. "If he's touched you, Tegan, he'll take you as well." The woman reached for Tegan's hand and whipped her around. Her white blond hair flew about her head like a fluttering cloak as she pulled and coaxed Tegan toward the vehicle. "You have to come with me. We have to hide. Now. Hurry! There are only a few places safe from him. He walks in darkness."

Tegan's eyes centered on the man once more. His lips were wide in the grin. It was all that she could see, could concentrate on in his face. She felt cold prickling at the back of her mind, like icicles forming on a roof. It seemed like a shadow had come over the sun in her mind. Even as those around her frolicked and played, danced and sang, engaged in erotic play, she felt still, surrounded, closed in. The red of her dress seemed dimmed to her. She felt lost.

"Tegan!" 

The Doctor grabbed her shoulders, standing behind her. The world solidified for her again and she turned to him. He stood a stark contrast of white in the sea of color that surrounded them. "Tegan?"

"He's here, Doctor," Tegan whispered. "He's trying to get into my mind."

The Doctor turned still holding her shoulders and faced the crowd. His head reared as he searched for the man. Tegan closed her eyes, pressing hard against the dark in her mind. She felt the Doctor's back against her cheek and reached to hold his arms in her hand. He wore white. He was her friend. She needed the grounding, and light that she felt tickling at her mind. She numbly but tightly held to him. 

"She must leave this place. He has found her," Illiana yelled, nearing the vehicle. The Doctor turned, reaching down to steady Tegan as he did so. "He's trying to minimize you, Lord of Time. He knows what she means to you. He knows what you can do to his plans, to him. She _must_ leave, Doctor."

Tegan's eyes opened as she felt the Doctor inhale sharply and then she was pulled, kept in the nook of his arm. He began to walk quickly towards the vehicle, bringing Tegan with him. She was barely able to keep on her feet with his fast pace. She felt him nudge her to climb into the vehicle and she did. "Get in, Tegan."

"Are you sure" she breathed, her eyes barely focusing. "I can't"

The Doctor grunted, agitated, and climbed into the vehicle. He pulled her down and nodded to Illiana. "Get us away from here, Illiana."

The woman smiled gratefully and fell into the driver's seat. The vehicle lifted slightly off the ground and turned. The Doctor frowned and settled into the seat next to Tegan, grabbing her head and cradling it between his palms. "Open your eyes, Tegan. Now."

She blinked open her eyes and tried to look at him. All she could see was his wide blue eyes with gold and ice hidden in their depths. He cupped her chin and she felt wrapped in warm, familiar warmth. "Concentrate on my eyes, Tegan. Trust me. I'll take care of you."

Tegan searched them as the vehicle tilted and turned, rose and accelerated. His gaze was all she could see and feelher mind swam against a tide. She felt the shadow lift slowly and she squinted to keep her gaze on his. After a few moments, he nodded and rubbed her cheek with his thumb. 

Voices echoed in her mind:

"He knows what she means to you." "Don't leave, Tegan!" "It's what could happen, if you let it." "You're distraught" "It's what he wants: you." "Stay, Tegan. Please." The words swirled around her mind as she watched emotions swirl in his eyes.

Quietly, barely over the sound of rushing wind in her ears, she heard him reassure her: "He's not in your mind now, Tegan. He's gone." She drew more strength from his gaze; she saw her friend of years staring at her with strength and caring. She touched at the back of his hand.

"You know who he is," she croaked.

"Correction, Tegan; I know who they are," the Doctor sighed. She shivered from the look in his eyes as he stared at Illiana. The woman twitched. "They're Joiba."


	3. Chapter 3

Authors notes: I took a bit of artistic license with Greek myths and throwing around a few names. I do apologize. I know it really doesn't fit anything, but I had to come up with something. 

**

The vehicle slowed and Tegan could see they were approaching a train. It was moving impossibly fast, but the vehicle had no problem in matching its pace. Within moments, they were docked on its side and Illiana powered down. 

With a flick of her wrist, she had a roof extend over and around the car and the wind that had been crashing in around them ceased. 

The Doctor blinked and sighed. "Yes, wellwe could have driven here with that protection already up."

"I've never controlled this type of transport before," she returned with a sigh. 

"Be thankful, Doc," Tegan admonished. "She got us here in one piece." She intercepted the Doctor's gaze and lowered her eyes to see that her dress top was listing very low on her chest. He cleared his throat and she blushed, angry with him for making her feel uneasy, and adjusted the top higher. She tried desperately to change the subject as a blush spread up his neck to his face. "Where are we anyway? And why was that man in my head?"

Illiana glanced back at the Doctor. "We're on a train heading into the pampas, Tegan," she responded. "You, Doctor, have questions of me, I think."

"Quite," he rumbled. "But I do think it can wait until we're inside."

"I shall pay passage for the four of us," she replied. Victor opened his door and a mirroring one opened on the train skeleton. Tegan glanced ahead of them to the head of the train, seeing something large and sleek sliding above a track. She knew it was run on repulsion; she didn't need the Doctor to tell her that. The night had crept up upon them in full force as they had traveled. The scenery was the gray of black lit with stars overhead. 

"Where are we and where are we going?" she asked quietly, to herself more than anyone else. When the Doctor gave her a glance, she asked more loudly: "And who are they?"

"Joiba, if my instincts are correct, Tegan," he replied and nodded toward the door. She followed him as he crawled through the vehicle to the door. She followed, careful not to kneel on her skirt and have it fall away. 

"That's quite a lot of information you just gave me, Doc," she responded, sarcasm dripping off her tongue. "I don't think I can handle that much at once."

"Must we fight?" he complained as he neared the entrance to the train. Then he sighed and continued. "Joiba are a very old race, Tegan. One of the First Ones, ancient races that survived the transmission of the last Universe into this one. There's only a few of them but they are exceedingly intelligent, live by no particular moral code as they think they are older than morals and cause havoc."

"Waitthey survived the Big Bang?" Tegan asked as she joined him at the door. 

"Well, yes, Tegan. Actually quite a few races survived that. Granted they were the most advanced and in most cases the most militaristic of the races, but yes, several did."

"There's been other Universes?"

"Do keep up, Tegan. Didn't I just say there were? You're missing the point entirely."

"No, I'm not," she shot back. "We've got a race here that is incredibly old and that you say isn't very impressed with morals of any sort. But why would he be in my head?"

The Doctor blew out a breath and crawled into train, reaching back to pull her in behind him. "Illiana says that he knows I can do something to his plans and therefore found a weak link."

"Thanks a lot."

He rolled his eyes as he looped his hands on her waist. "A human's mind is less complicated to manipulate than a Time Lord's, Tegan. I wasn't insulting you."

She frowned and held onto his shoulders as he helped her down. "But what could his plans be?" she asked. The Doctor's hands tightened and she felt his cool skin burn against her warmer body. 

"Yes, well, Teganif I knew thatwe wouldn't be having this discussion now, would we?" he gave her a smile and lowered her slowly to the ground. "I rather think we'll need to find that out quickly, though. I don't think it'll involve anything like what we usually deal with. As I said, they don't work by a moral code, but likewise they often view this Universe as transient; Joiba seem not to have a taste for galactic conquest. No, I think this is more of a game to your friend and I'm an unwanted playing piece. Either that or it is rather personal to him and he's rather adamant about getting his way."

"Then why the worry? I mean other than helping Illiana. If she's Joiba too, and they don't work by a moral code"

"Yes I do rather see your point, Tegan. If they don't work by a moral code then how can I know if I'm on the right side? You're being used as an expendable piece as well and I would really rather they wouldn't. And I would like to see what is going onI might be able to help."

She gave him a smile. "Your curiosity sometimes."

He lifted and eyebrow patted her waist and turned. "Let's catch up our host, shall we? Maybe we can persuade her to answer some of the questions."

**

"I suppose you want to know who I am," Illiana said quietly. They were in a small cabin with two bench seats. Tegan looked around distastefully. It was all right by any measure, but she had noticed in her travels with the Doctor that the future rarely changed anything least of all interior design. The benches were the same as the type that had inhabited trains in her time. With a sigh at the sight of yet another fact that burst her dreams of the future, she shook her head. She smiled at Illiana and sank into the bench as the beauty waved her to take. 

The Doctor sank into the seat next to her and leaned forward, supporting his elbows on his knees. "Yes, well, Illianayou can start by telling me if I'm correct in my guess at you being a member of the Joiba race."

"You are very correct, Doctor," Illiana replied, holding out her arm to her son. "I would have thought you wouldn't need to ask me to confirm that."

"He's all for someone confirming he's got it right just so he can tell if one of us has it wrong," Tegan offered helpfully, fielding a glare from the Doctor as her due. "So you're a Joiba?"

The woman's nod was firm. "Yes, and despite the Doctor thinking I work by no moral code, he's wrong. I simply want to weather this Universe and its ages to go on to the next expansion."

"So you're an Eternal?" Tegan asked, earnestly.

"Tegan," the Doctor said quietly. "Eternals exist outside of time. Illiana and Victor exist in time. They are very different beasts, you see. Which Joiba are you?" he asked, changing the topic quickly. Tegan sighed and sat back against the seat bench with an agitated sigh. 

Illiana smiled tightly and then glanced down at Victor. "I'm known by the name of Castrellia on Gallifrey, Doctor. On Earth, I've been known as Lilith or Aphrodite."

"Hmm," the Doctor replied. "And Victor here is known as Eros?"

"Humans have such interesting notions of what constitutes god-like qualities," she laughed. 

"And of course, it suits your purpose and your ego," the Doctor stated with a smile. "And the man that is after Tegan."

Illiana cradled her son's head. "It is he who walks in darkness, Doctor."

The Doctor lifted his head and rubbed at his lips with his fingers. "Haldian?"

"Who's that when he's at home?" Tegan asked, laying her hand on his arm. "Doc, you looked shocked."

Illiana responded by nodding to Tegan. "Haldian was known as great harbinger of evil on Gallifrey."

"He's known as Ares on Earth, Tegan," the Doctor explained. 

"The God of War?"

"Yes, wellthe God of Mindless War if you will, Tegan. He's the god of bloodlust and he's the father of VictorEros here," the Doctor smiled at the boy. Then he gave Tegan a look. "But what is his plan, Illiana?"

"He has no plans per se for this planet, Doctor. He wants Victor back to follow his example. He loves to create havoc and pain and misdirection. He experiments with minds and drugs here and now. It is a game to him mostly and will be very upset if his game is taken from him."

The Doctor blew out a breath. "You Joibawhen will you ever learn that games you play on an individual level have far reaching problems for the rest of the galaxy." He squinted at Illiana. "Do I have your word that you are only trying to pass the age here?"

"I am goddess of Love," the woman replied. "I am the first woman. I will rely on those facts to state my purpose to you."

"But his pursuit of youhis presence here with his mental powers will reek havoc on the surrounding humans."

"And Gallifreyans, Doctor," Illiana clarified. "You forget our power over your kind as well."

"You've ruined his self view now," Tegan stated with a smile. 

"Do be quiet, Tegan," the Doctor admonished. "You said only a few places were safe from him"

"I have a ship of sorts, Doctor. I do leave this planet occasionally. I simply return here when I long for it. As you, this is one of my favorite planets." She smiled lovingly at Tegan. "And one of my favorite races." 

The Doctor nodded. "You'll leave."

"If I can reach my ship, yes. I would offer up protection for Tegan until he finds some other pass-time or he deems you not a threat to his happiness. It's the least I can do for the help you'll give me."

With a sigh, he gave another nod. Tegan frowned and leaned into her friend, talking under her breath. "But if he has power over you"

"The best thing to do in those cases is to be as unpredictable as possible," he responded with a smile. "If I don't know what I'm doing, how could they possibly know what I'll do?

She lifted an eyebrow and muttered a 'yeah' under her breath with a grimace on her face. At his surprised look, she shrugged, the movement made comical by her slender naked shoulders rising and falling as if she was laughing. "How is that different from normal?"

He glared and turned his attention back to Illiana. "And if, by some unseen force, we are barred from your ship?"

"Then I would lead you to a temple to the northwest of here. It is hidden in the jungle"

The Doctor nodded. "I know the one you speak of. It's a Mayan temple, yes?" He glanced out the window and sighed. "At the speed we're traveling I would say we would be in the mesoamerica-"

Tegan sat back against the bench and listened to the Doctor ramble on about the Mayans and Mesoamerica and Belize and Panama. She was tired, so very tired from many things and this just seemed to be more troublesome than dangerous. With exhausted eyes, she watched as the Doctor lifted his hand to trace the shape of a temple in the air. His fingers, slender, artistic, beautiful fingers, mesmerized her as he tried to show the outline of the pyramid. And his voice, his voice was calmer, easier, and more familiar than the voice that had sounded in her head just hours before. It soothed her. She wanted to sleep. When she half-closed her eyes, she could see a faint outline of white light about Illiana and Victor. As she watched the Doctor, she noticed a similar outline about himonly it was a warmer, more gold colored aura.

She yawned and moved closer to the Time Lord, resting against the bench back with her eyes listing shut. The glow about him flared and she edged to the light, resting her cheek on the cool of his shirt. She still didn't understand his methods nor did she agree with them; she didn't want to know how or why he was willing to throw his morals to the side; she didn't know if her friendship with him would ever be the same. But they were on a train racing away from the TARDIS, away from Turlough, away from Carnival and into the night with someone who may or may not have been a god to humans and although it wasn't as horrible or as upsetting as other things had been in the past, he still was the only familiar thing for her to hold to. 

He shifted and she felt his arm lift and fall across her shoulders, but didn't open her eyes. If she opened her eyes, the situation would change. The glow would be gone. She wanted the glow. It soothed her. It was almost as if it was the Doctor undisturbed by lifebut she smiled. The thought was outrageous. She didn't believe in all that new age mumbo-jumbo.

Illiana's lilting voice answered the Doctor and she felt the answer to her question rumble through her cheek. She was lying in sunshine, warmed on a beach. It was summer. Light was all around. And then

Then

A cloud passed over the sun. 

And the cloud didn't move. She could still feel the residual warmth on her skin, against her cheek, but the cloud was letting a cool breeze blow over her. Her eyes squeezed as she tried to place the feeling. Ice crept into her mind.

"Oh no," she moaned, as her eyes snapped open. Illiana was gasping in the seat across from her. The Doctor gripped her shoulder to keep her from rocketing out of the seat to fall on her knees by Illiana. "No, he's here."

Illiana swallowed hard and nodded. Her skin had dulled to a gray in fear. "Yeshe's on the train. He's searching, reaching out with his mind."

"Shield yours," the Doctor barked. "He's followed us much like a homing beacon." He stood and moved to the door of the cabin, frowning. "Shield your mind, Illiana."

"He'll sense Tegan's. He's had a taste of hers," Illiana breathed. 

The Doctor grunted and turned. Tegan tried to give him a smile. "I don't understand what the whole problem is. I know I can't stand him in my brain and don't want him there, but is it"

"He'll reek havoc, Tegan. He'll plow through the Earth uprooting whole civilizations to take back what he thinks is his," the Doctor explained quickly. "He doesn't see civilization as valid; he doesn't care."

"The best way to handle him is to have me leave here. The best way is to take Victor and leave the Earth. He'll follow me. He'll have no reason to remain here."

The Doctor gave a harsh chuckle. "He's well known for his temper, Illiana, in any society."

She nodded. "But he's also known for his single-mindedness. He wants me; he wants Victor. All I need do is reach that temple site in modern Belize" she took a deep breath and looked in pain. "I can shield my mind, but Tegan can't shield hers. He has changed her brain chemistry. I can heal that."

Almost in pain, the Doctor nodded. "I felt that when I searched her mind. He has altered it. What incredible power"

"Typical of you," Tegan growled, rubbing at her temples. "Someone completely redecorates my mind and you admire the engineering" 

The Doctor shook his head. "It is incredible, Tegan. Completely making your mind work in a different manner simply by invading it for a moment is incredible-"

"Doctor!" she exclaimed. "It's my mind."

"Quite right," he growled in return. Tegan opened her mouth to yell back at him when she felt a wash of cold flush her mind. She winced and her head fell to her palms. 

"He's getting nearer," she moaned.

Illiana stood, shaking her head. "We have to leave here now. Tegan-"

"We'll have to separate from you" the Doctor barked, turning to help Tegan to her feet. 

"You'll have to get to my"

"We'll be there; you'll have to do what you can for her mind," the Doctor responded. "Run, Illiana. Take your vehicle. We'll find our own way."

Tegan barely had time to understand what was happening when the Doctor reached down and cupped her elbows, pulling her to stand. She felt another wave of ice form in her mind, this time accompanied by pain and she stumbled into his chest. "Doc?" she weakly called him. Where was his warmth? His light?

"Go!" the Doctor encouraged Illiana, holding his companion. "I'll take care of Tegan. Her mind and mine might be somewhat confusing to him. Go!"

Illiana gave a wide grimace, gathered her son to her and ran from the cabin back the way they had come. Tegan watched her go; her sight hazy with pain. With shaky hands, she put her arms around his waist, and pressed her cheek against his chest. "The TARDIS?" she croaked.

"We can't, Tegan," the Doctor said, gently as he edged out the door and glanced down the skinny corridor. "You need Illiana's help. I can't undo what has been done to you, Tegan. He's fused your sensory input channels into something quite different than what should be there. You're sensing more than you should. Feeling more than you should" his voice drifted off. "Can you sense him nearby?"

She nodded, and began to gasp. "Very near. Doctor"

"Then we need to steer him in a different direction that Illiana went while keeping you away from him, physically. Come on" he whispered and then pulled Tegan along the corridor after him. She drug her feet, blinding clinging to his side as he slipped down one corridor and into another car. "We've got to give her some time. Just some little time, Tegan. Hold on."

"And how will you get us out of here towherever we have to go" she hissed, squeezing her eyes shut.

"Have faith, Miss Tegan," he stated good-naturedly. The squeeze of his hand as it cupped her hip was a more physical show of his support and protection. 

"I can barely think" she whispered. 

"We should be quick, then," he muttered. He took a deep breath and opened another door, leading her down yet another corridor. They only made it two steps inside the new car when the shadow in Tegan's mind coalesced into a large, hulk of a human being. She winced and turned her face into the Doctor clinging to the bright gold that surrounded him and the coolness of his body. She saw the ebony aura about 'him' clearly. It was so encompassing that the sheer oily black that permeated the air around him blotted out even his rich dark blue clothing. "Horrible" she breathed.

The Doctor tightened his arm, holding her to his side. "Ah, well" he said, his voice taking on his normal polite tone. "I see that you've found us."

"Of course I have, Doctor or shall I say"

Tegan started at the long string of syllables that fell from the 'dark man's' lips. It was musical. _What_ was that, she thought. 

"Yes, you see, Time Lord, I know you. Just as you know me," the being stated quietly. He reached out his hand and Tegan felt cold brush her cheek although his hand was feet from her. "As I know this lovely human's mind."

The Doctor gave a sharp inhale and narrowed his eyes. "You've changed her."

"I've enhanced her, Time Lord. Humans are such a lovely malleable species. "She should thank me."

"You had no right!" the Doctor shot back. "Altering a human's mind will alter her ability to handle her environment, to interact, to think, to dreamand why did you"

The 'dark man' lifted an eyebrow and fixed the Doctor with a stare. "To understand her, I had to have her mind talk my language. She sees things on a different level now. But that is secondary to my purpose in doing it, Doctor. I want IllianaI want my wife. When I felt your presence, I knew that she would find you as well, appeal to you, and appeal for your help to hide away my son and her. And I knew you would help. You can't do anything but help those in need, can you? Your friend, I know what she means to you"

"She's a friend," the Doctor nearly shouted. 

"Even if you don't know what she is to you, DoctorI still do. Only I can undo what is in her mind. And I will only do that after Illiana is brought to me"

Tegan shook her head forcefully. "No," she breathed. "Not blackmail."

"Ahyes, brave. You think that of her as well" the dark man stated. "Now, Doctortell me where Illiana is."

"Can't penetrate a Gallifreyan mind as easy, can you?" the Doctor said, almost gleefully. "To be quite honest, I don't know where Illiana is, Ares. I may call you that, mightn't I?"

"But you know where she is going," he rumbled, heavily. 

"No, not really," the Doctor replied. Tegan shivered as ice pressed into her mind more. She felt the Doctor start to push her behind him and shook her head. 

Ares frowned and waved his hand dismissively. With a grin, he centered his eyes on the Doctor and winked. Tegan stumbled backwards as the Doctor crumpled to his knees. Within seconds, she was on the floor next to him, her arms around him, blinded by anger and fear. Her friend had his hands on his head and his eyes were squeezed shut in pain. "What have you done to him?"

"Why, my dear, the exact same thing I did to you," the dark man answered. Tegan couldn't, _wouldn't_, refer to him as a god by any stretch. She felt the Doctor shiver and she reared her head, her eyes narrowed.

"Leave him be!"

"Ahthat's very touching, love," he whispered. "Doctor? Will you tell me where my wife has gone? She has my son. I do believe I have a right to know."

The Doctor grit his teeth and shook his head. "She has a right not to be found," he croaked.

"What I have done will cause you pain more than it did your friend, Doctor."

Tegan frowned and rose to her feet, dragging the Doctor up with her. She pulled the Doctor backward down the corridor, the pain less in her own mind. She could tell it was transferred to the Doctor. She fell against the wall, weak. Glancing to the side, she saw a door similar to the one that they had stumbled in from the car, vehiclewhatever it had been. 

"I think you should tell me, Doctor. Unlike your companion, if I don't reverse what has occurred, it will cause permanent damage."

"Hold on," Tegan whispered and reached for the door release mechanism. It fell open and she pulled the Doctor's larger bulk toward the door. He blinked, realizing there was a presentation of an escape in front of him. He looped his hand around Tegan's waist and hefted her off the ground. There was barely twenty feet between them and the dark man. He pushed Tegan into the connection tube and levered himself up, grimacing in pain. 

"I wish you hadn't done that," came the menacing reply. Tegan tumbled into the cab of another vehicle. She glanced around at the instrumentation in a state of confusion. She found something like a key just as there was a loud sound like a pulse of energy and the Doctor fell into the cab along side her.

"Drive," he gasped.

"I don't know how," she shot back, nearly waving her hands in agitation. 

"Key, turn. Connection, sever," he moaned, reaching over with shaking hands to push the connection knob. She felt the vehicle float free, held in the gravity bubble of the train. "Turn the key, Tegan and driveit's mostly like your" he groaned. 

She flicked the key into the on position and grabbed the wheel as the car swung free. There was a pedal of sorts and she stepped on it, twisting the wheel as the same time. The vehicle plowed away from the train and slowed immediately. She fought to control it.

"A little help would be good," she complained, glancing over at the Doctor. 

He lay back against the seat, holding his shoulder. She could see the burn, the dark black burn across his shirt. It covered most of the shoulder and part of his back. He tried to give a weak smile. "If I could, TeganI would give you as much help as I could, but"

"You've been shot?!" she exclaimed. "Hell's Teeth, Doc"

He hissed a breath through his teeth and shook his head. "Drive, Teganjust get us away from that traingo north east. Yes, I was shot. Apparently" he swallowed, trying to smile. "Apparently, our friend there had a terrible temper and didn't mind lowering himself to primitive pain devices"

Tegan nearly wept and turned her attention back to the steering column. She lifted a hand to brush tears away as the vehicle rocketed away into the night; away from what little civilization the train had presented. 


	4. Chapter 4

As the first light of morning came over the vehicle, Tegan shut off the lights that sent streams of illumination to the surrounding environment. It was still very dim, but she could see the trees just below the belly of the vehicle. The compass on the control panel showed that she indeed had the nose of the vehicle pointed in a northeasterly direction. She could see life waking below them: birds of all colors fluttered in the branches, small animals ran across the open spaces and the wind blew in the trees. But inside the cab, it was silent. Her breathing had evened out, quieted after a small crying jag an hour or so earlier. The Doctor's breathing was unsteady, punctuated with small moans occasionally. He lay in a fitful sleep stretched half sitting, half lying in the chair next to her.

"Hold on, Doc" she whispered. She clucked her tongue again and looked to the energy monitor again. She supposed that it worked the same as a gas gauge in a car. Whether it did work the same or not, the fact that it was showing very low levels of fuel or energy in the car. "This doesn't bode well, I think, Doc. And I've got to set us down somewhere" she quietly said, glancing around. "Somewhere before this thing runs out and I have to crash us. And I need to look at your wound."

She bit her lip and shook her head. 

"Power level?"

Tegan glanced sideways at the Doctor. His eyes were open at half-mast. She wanted to launch at him and hug him. He was still alive. But she didn't dare take her hands from wheel. "Doc! You're awake."

"Come on, Tegan. Brave heart," he tried to give her a smile. "What's our power level?"

"If I'm reading this thing right; the level is extremely low. I was thinking to set us down before we had to crash."

"You're starting to think"

"like a pilot. You forget I flew at home," she smiled. "Any suggestions on where to put down?"

"Anywhere," he muttered as the vehicle sputtered on power. "Flat would be advisable."

She nodded and guided the car down as the Doctor slipped back into a daze.

**

When he opened his eyes next, Tegan was unclipping her restraints. He tried to lever off the seat, but she waved him back down with her hand and a grimace. "We're down, Doc. Stay where you are. I want to look at that wound of yours."

He cracked a weak smile. "I take it we didn't crash."

"Brave heart, Doc," she quipped. "I haven't lost a plane yet. Granted I've only flown two, but they're both still in one piece. Now stay put, will you? There has to be a medical kit around here some where"

"No aspirin, please," he grunted. 

Tegan sighed and pushed to the back of the small vehicle, digging under seats. "I wonder if it's in the boot. No, wait Cripesdon't they ever mark these things? Yes, here it is." She climbed back over the seats to sit down next to the Doctor. "Lean a little bit to the left, Doc."

"Let me see what's in the case, Tegan," he muttered. "You may not know what you're seeingit is in your future."

She frowned and pulled a syringe out. "This says 'for use with burns'."

He squinted and reached out his right hand. "Must be some sort of numbing agent with an aid to rebuild cells. They should work; mostly on meI do have a slightly different gene sequence than humans. Though I suppose"

Tegan frowned. "It'll work like a scab, Doc. You can undo any damage I do to you in the TARDIS. I'm just worried about infection."

He moaned as he moved and her lips crumpled into a deeper frown. "Doc? How bad is it? You won't regenerate, will you?"

"I don't think so, Tegan. I don't know. I've never been shot like this before," he sighed. "Damage is extensive," he shifted. 

"Then hold still, I want to see how extensive this damage is," she insisted. He sat still as she reached over and began to unbutton his shirt. She peeled the blackened and burned material of his shirt back from his body. His whole shoulder was a mass of burned flesh. There was no blood and it looked to be seared shut. She wasn't taking any chances though. "Lay still, Doc. I'm going to spray this on you, that's how it works, right?"

"Right. Quite right, Tegan." 

She braced him against the seat, her hand curling over his naked well shoulder. Then, biting her lip, she shook the large syringe sprayer. Then she closed her eyes, muttered something like: 'Brave heart', and sprayed his shoulder. He arched against the seat back, his face twisted in pain. She put down the sprayer and pressed her hand against his ribs, against his uninjured chest and held him down. His breath rattled in his chest, she could feel the force of it against his chest wall. Under her right hand, she could feel his stronger heart pulsing a power beat; under her left his lesser heart fluttered like a bird in a cage. As his breathing became regular, she nodded and eased her hands from his body. 

Where she had sprayed the material, his skin was red, but was rapidly being covered by a type of synthetic bandage that looked like fake skin. The Doctor grunted in pain and glanced down at his shoulder, nodding slightly. "Well done," he croaked. 

"That's right? It looks horrible."

"It's not for use in beauty contests, I'll grant you. Yes, that's right," he said, his words punctuated by deep breaths. His eyes blinked shut and he puffed a sigh. 

Tegan bit her lip and shook her head slowly. His coloring was very pale and his breathing was deep but a little uneven. She sat back, her skirt pulling a little as she rocked back on her haunches. "Go to sleep, Doc."

He muttered and raised an eyebrow. "Playing nurse, Tegan?" His eyes didn't open.

"I'm going to have a look around this vehicle and see what we have. I'm going to shut off the power too. There's nothing you can do and it looks like that stuff has given you some pain relief. Best rest while the pain's low."

He nodded, but by the third nod, he drifted into a deep sleep. Tegan's frown became more pronounced and her eyes filled with tears. She turned and found the release for the door, having it slide open before she viscously turned the key to off. Careful not to jar his arm, she climbed over the seat to the door and out into the early morning air. She made it two stumbling steps before she sat down on the ground, amidst grass, mud and trees, and let the emotion out. And out it did come in gasps, tears and quaking, heaving breaths. 

Some time later, she felt the cool of the morning seep through her skirt to wet her skin. Tears cooled on her cheeks dusted with the breezes that brought the heavy, humid smell of jungle to her nose. The sun was warming the place where she sat and she curled her hands into the grass for grounding, just for the feel of it against her palms. Even with everything that was different in this time period and with all the Joiba and thoughts of man ruining people's minds simply to get at their wives, the grass was still the same and would always be the same. Then, with a sigh, she pushed to her feet, leaning back into the vehicle for solidity.

Just a week ago, she had been running through a warehouse to escape all of this. And yet, here she stood, in a jungle, lost, with the man whom she thought she barely understood any more yet put all of her trust in lying severely injured just feet from her. She had to do something.

"Tegan, get ahold of yourself," she whispered. "Do something proactive and instead of reactive, girl."

She turned and began to search the car as the heat of the jungle went from hot to Hades.

**

"Really, Tegan"

It was the next day. She had let him sleep away most of the day, only waking him occasionally to give her input on safety of water and what was edible or not. As night fell, they discussed direction to travel and that they needed to leave the vehicle upon daybreak. She had found a few things that could help: a GPS unit, a few protein bars. And then she had curled up in the pilot's seat and had fallen into a fitful sleep; she woke every hour to check their safety and often quite a few times in between when she heard noises in the surrounding jungle. He had seemed much better when morning came and they had struck out in the direction that the map and the GPS indicated.

"What?" she asked. She was several steps ahead of him, peeling back vines and stepping over (and in some cases in) rotting plant life on the ground. She had been listening for his steps behind her for some time, opting not to glance back at him. It was past midday and the small device the Doctor had explained was a GPS was still showing them tracking in a northerly direction. Although that seemed to be going as it should, the heat and humidity of the jungle made walking a chore and she was covered in sweat, dirt and grime. She pulled harshly on another vine and turned to glance back at him. "Doc, is your arm paining you?"

He shook his head once. "The synthetic you put on me took care of the pain, thank goodness and it is acting as a bandage. There's little threat from infection."

"What's the matter, then?" she asked, wiping sweat from her brow. 

The Doctor held out his left hand and wiggled his fingers. "Let me see the GPS, Tegan."

She frowned and leaned against a tree. "We're headed in the right direction, Doc. You can trust me to read this thing properly; you did teach me how to, remember?" she asked testily. 

"That's quite not the point, Tegan; you've missed it entirely. You can't do what you're doing and navigate at the same time."

"You weren't able to read it when we left the ship," she replied. "And we did agree that speed was of the essence." She frowned as a trickle of sweat dripped in her eye. With a dirty hand, she wiped at it in agitation. "You did say that that Joiba person would possibly follow us"

"Possibly, not probably, Tegan. There is a very big difference in the two. Though I do agree getting separated from the ship was the best course of action, I didn't agree that you should have to do most of the heavy work"

Tegan took two steps back towards him. She squinted her eyes and saw that a deep maroon was slowly infiltrating his golden hue. Around his arm, the aura was slowly loosing its patina appearance. "It's healing is it?" she changed the subject and nodded towards his arm.

The Doctor frowned. "Don't change the subject, Tegan."

"Hell's Teeth, Doc"

He opened his mouth to respond when a roll of far away thunder sounded over head. Tegan tilted back her head, squinting as a drop of water fell on her brow. "Oh that's just great," she grumbled.

He found humor in the situation and a wide smile graced his features. "It is a rainforest, Miss Tegan."

"Full of rotting plant life, mosquitoes, malaria and Lord knows what kind of animals that can eat us," she complained. "So I would rather not like to stand around and wait to be attacked, infected or killed, if you don't mind," she turned around to begin to tear at the vines again, hissing as one of the rougher ones cut her palm. 

The Doctor stepped up, reaching out to catch her wrist in his grip. She turned her palm up to let him see the two criss-crossing wounds on it. "Hmm," he hummed, lifting it close to his face. Then he glanced around at the vines. "They aren't poisonous. It'll just be painful. Have you any more bandages?"

She gave a crumpled smile. "So long as I'm still wearing my skirt, yes." She bent and gently separated another scrap of material from the loosely woven material. She righted and began to wrap the material around her hand. The Doctor watched her while at the same time glancing downwards to see her skirt. She finished tying the bandage and intercepted his amused expression at her clothing. "Doc"

"Well, Tegan," he cleared his throat as a minor blush flushed his features. "Whereas that skirt was alluring when it was long, it is rather not a tax on the imagination the shorter it gets."

"Rabbits, Doc!" she groaned. "It's no shorter than what I wore on the TARDIS."

He nodded but rubbed at the back of his neck as if very self-conscious. "True." He frowned and shook his head, and then the frown dissolving into a smile aimed at disarming her. "Interesting. I wonder what's changed"

Confused, she shook her head and turned. The Doctor sighed and took the GPS out of her hand. "Allow me," he said, authoritatively. 

Tired, nearing the end of her patience and physical strength, she allowed him to take the small compass type instrument and move ahead of her in the jungle. "If I must" she sighed. "You must be feeling better; you're back to your usual arrogance"

"And you're approaching normal as well," he replied as he began to walk through the jungle, dodging vines and raindrops. "Grumpy: you're your usual self."

Tegan narrowed her eyes, registered the weird deep yellow and red that flushed his aura and fell into step behind him, cradling her injured palm in her other hand.

**

"Tegan?"

Her name was called and penetrated her fuzzy mind. She could hear the worry in the Doctor's voice. "Hmm?"

A hand closed over her shoulder and she felt both a small shake and an insistent thumb rubbing on her skin. It was then that she realized her eyes were closed and she was leaning against the rough bark of a tree. Her eyes sprung open and she saw the Doctor leaning near her, his hand on her naked shoulder. It was almost dark and she could see that night was approaching again. The last thing she remembered was listening to the Doctor mutter about direction as they encountered a small river and then she had closed her eyes for only a moment. "I must have fallen asleep," she yawned. A blink had her inhaling sharply.

The Doctor's aura was near purple with flushes of gold about his chest region and a bright red about his waist. He caught her upset and frowned. "Tegan? Are you all right?"

Still barely awake, still extremely tired, she blinked again. "You've changed," she nearly cried. 

He shook his head in confusion. She saw that the GPS was hanging on a small piece of material about his neck. Her heart pounded and she felt her breath pouring in and out of her lungs as if it were liquid. Her hands hung limply at her sides and she skittered up against the bark of the tree. She could feel that he had changed, not only by the aura, but by the way that his gaze burned bright in his face. Suddenly the nightmare that had rested at the back of her mind that everything had changed, that nothing would be the same again rushed up to meet her. He braced her into the tree, frowning, holding her still as she felt she might bolt. 

He had changed. She could feel it. He was the man she had seen in the warehouse, the one that told her he could commit murder, the one that had strode from the TARDIS intent not only on finishing his murderous task but had considered his own death to acceptable in that instance. Murder, suicide, self-sacrifice, changeshe couldn't take it, she shut her eyes hard against the image. "No."

She felt the Doctor shift and then two hands closed over her arms. His hands were ice cold and wet; it was still raining. With her eyes closed, she shook her head. "You've changed," she whispered again.

"Yes, my brain chemistry has changed, I can feel it, Tegan," he responded quietly. "But that's all. I'm still the Doctor"

"No" she whispered again, shaking her head. "No," she repeated louder. "Your aura has changed. You're not the same, Doctor"

"Open your eyes, Tegan; look at me."

"No," she denied again, squeezing her eyes shut. "They've changed me too. Hell's Teeththey've changed me too."

"You're exhausted, Tegan. Listen to yourself. You went from quiet to hysterical in two minutes. You haven't had proper sleep in 36 hours, your little nap notwithstanding," his voice was soothing, quiet, barely above the rushing of the nearby river and the patter of raindrops on the leaves. "I'm still the Doctor, Tegan. I'm just sensing everything differently. I can smell better; I'm noticing things differently; I have a slight headache. I'm still your friend."

She took a deep breath and turned her face away from his voice. "You haven't been the same Doctor since the Dalek's ship."

"Tegan"

"A murderer, Doc" she said mournfully. The tears started to fall as she pushed away from the tree and opened her eyes to stumble away from him and away from his restraining hands. 

His agitation sounded in the way he nearly slapped tree trunk. "Teganthe middle of a rainforest is not the place" he started and then his voice dropped again. "I did what I had to do, Tegan. I can't explain it beyond that. I can't. I thought we were beyond this. We need to concentrate on getting through this, Tegan."

"Do you think I want to stay on it? I close my eyes and all I see is you with that look in your eyes telling me you had to commit murder. And then I open my eyes and see that you have changed"

"From Joiba mind altering"

"It doesn't matter!" she yelled and turned to him, opening her eyes wide. The aura dimmed and she saw him, leaning into the tree, his shoulder hard against its rough bark. The sling was lying on the ground near the tree; he had ripped it off when she had tried to bolt. His shirt was nearly transparent from moisture and his hair was plastered to his head. "Can't you see: it doesn't matter."

"Tegan" he whispered. Or at least she thought he whispered her name; she only heard the last syllable, his voice catching on the 'n'.

She lifted her chin. She knew she was tired. She knew she was exhausted; her legs and back and arms all were scarred with scars and wounds and her muscles screamed for relief. Her head throbbed from lack of water and food; they had walked for 8 hours. She wanted to sleep. She wanted to be out of the rain. Above all, she wanted to be rid of this blight to her vision that let her see how he had changed. But she knew that it was exactly that exhaustion that was allowing her to say these things; things that had been at the back of her mind for more than a week. 

They stood there, semi-sheltered by the leaves overhead from the falling rain until the twilight began to encroach. 

Her skin was clammy, wet and she felt too hot. Her gaze drifted from his face to the surrounding environment to take in the flowing river nearby, and the trees. She quickly looked at him and noticed that he was staring at her openly, his mouth slightly open and his eyessad. Then he cleared his throat and nodded to the river. "It's not too deep, Tegan. We'll have to try and cross it." 

"Yes, well" he continued with a sigh, rubbing at the back of his neck. 

Tegan frowned and glanced at the river again. "Can't we camp on this side of it," she complained. 

"No, Tegan. With the amount of rain that has fallen in the last few hours, I wouldn't be surprised if there is a flash flood somewhere today. There's higher ground on the other side. Do you think you trust me enough to believe that?"

"Don't be testy," she replied. "We'd best get it done. All I want to do is sleep."

At his frown, she turned and walked toward the river. In the twilight and falling rain, it looked like a disturbed black mirror with lines of movement in it. It felt slightly warmer than the rain as she stepped into it. She heard his feet slash into the water next to her. With a sigh, she waded into the water, pushing through it, glad that her skirt had indeed been shortened. The Doctor's longer gait had him walking ahead of her in a moment and she allowed it, following in his wake. She was tired, as she had said. The water got deeper and she felt the level rise past her knees, her thighs and even her pelvis, waist and then rose to her mid torso. The water rose accordingly on the Doctor, but to a lesser level on his body relative to his height. 

"This isn't so bad," she huffed. Her feet curled into the stones underfoot. It felt wonderfully sturdy compared to the moving water. "Keep your shoulder dry; why did you take it out of the sling?"

"It's healed," he responded, glancing back at her. "The nanities are doing their work. It itches like the devil, but it's healed. Mostly, that is. Quite as good as new. Watch your footing where you are; it's uneven. We're half way there"

"Wonderfulit's almost-"

She barely had the time to draw a breath as she fell, submerging in the water. 

Rushing sound, obliterating everything. Cooler than rain, her hair floating like a lure about her head, her eyes full of muddy, murky water. Scared, wanting to scream, fighting to keep her breath. Moving. She was moving along the bottom. Current dragging her away. Rocks scraping at her bum, twigs against her legs, a large rock in her stomach. She couldn't find which way was up. Murky. Dark. Night swimming. 

A large branch came under her waist and it hauled her up and she felt the slap of warm air against her face again. She gasped and shuddered. The branch curled and she was up against something solid that was holding her head above water. Something strong.

"Put your arms around my neck, Tegan," the Doctor said his voice urgent and yet soothing. "Take deep breaths; you're all right." Her gaze cleared and she saw him in the gathering night, his face tight with worry. His skin was visible through his shirt and he was icily cool, but he was holding her like she was his lifeline.

She gulped great mouthfuls of air and wound her arms around his neck. She didn't know she was crying until he waded to the other side, one of his arms around her waist and the other under her thighs, supporting her. He cleared the water, holding her close, until he found a fallen tree. He set her down with infinite tenderness. 

His hands brushed her wet hair away from her face, his palms holding her cheeks gently between them. She didn't know if he knelt or sat in front of her. "It's all right," he reassured, his voice teetering between bass and hoarse. "You're all right, Tegan. You took rather a bad spill."

"Doctor?" she whispered, pitifully. Before she could continue, he shifted his weight and she winced. He stood and moved to her side, kneeling by her thigh. 

"Which one, Tegan?"

"My left," she sniffled. "What the hell is wrong with me," she muttered, agitated. 

"Shock, not fear," he muttered helpfully. He glanced up at her tear stained face. "All those brave hearts must have worked. Show me what hurts, Tegan."

Tegan's hands shook as she showed him the inside of her thigh. It was only a bruise, she could see that, but he made the motions of checking the injury with infinite care. His cool hands gently eased the leg around and prodded carefully. "It doesn't seem to be major, Tegan. Well, major for an injury. It does appear to be rather large for a bruise. I'm quite sure you're all right."

When he looked back into her eyes, she nodded. By her third nod, she was in tears again. It wasn't from pain or fear, but she felt cold, exhausted and entirely weak. It had all been too much, the last week, the last two days, and she felt it crashing in on her. His gaze, his eyes turned gray in concern and he leaned in and brushed his fingers against her wet cheeks, tears mixed with rain, and slowly gathered her in his arms. She put her face sideways on his good shoulder and allowed him to hold her, tight and close. 

"I thought you were gone too," he whispered, confessing and his arms tightened.

Maybe it was the shock or the way he soothed her, but she barely felt the rain.


	5. Chapter 5

She was numb, she supposed. Tegan couldn't remember ever being in shock like this previously. But she sat, shivering, her arms wrapped around her torso. Her teeth chattered together and she could barely stay awake. She was wrapped in the lone blanket that she had brought from the vehicle and kept dry in a sealed pack. 

Her clothing hung over a small knot in the rock, drying. It was a shock of red in a black-green world. It still rained and mud covered every available surface. The area where she sat was barely dry, but dry enough to serve the purpose of shelter. In the dim, she addressed the Doctor quietly. She could only see his outline against the lighter gray sky. "I don't know if I can sleep."

"You can," he reassured. She felt him adjust her on the cliff, his hands leading her to move backwards until she was against the rock. "Lay down" he gently instructed. 

She shook her head once and felt his palm cup her cheek. His thumb worried at her chin. "Brave heart, Tegan. Lay down. I've put some aromatic plant life up here with us; the bugs will be minimal."

"It's not the bugs I'm worried about," she muttered plaintively. 

"We'll be all right."

"I wish I could check your shoulder again tonight," she whispered, exhausted.

He sighed and she felt his palm turn a little to hold her chin. "It's fine. One more night of rest and it will be quite as it was." 

Tegan shivered and pulled the blanket tighter. "And that shirt of yours. You shouldn't be wearing it over the wound" she tried to get the words out, but she was quite sure her chattering teeth were impeding the process. "It's wet"

She swore she could hear his eye roll in the way he muttered his response. Then she felt him shifting, and heard the wet material slapping against his skin as he removed it. He rose and she knew he was hanging his shirt by her clothes on the rock. "There, Tegan. I gather this might alleviate some of your agitation?"

Her shrug was tired, weak. "Yes. I won't think you're going to die of jungle rot, at least. My toes are another story, I think, though."

"Tegan," he responded. She felt his hands on her shoulders again and there was a gentle push, an insistence for her to rest back against the rock. Then he shifted and found a small nook in the rock and rested himself back against it. Then he eased her over, against his chest and shoulder, his arm cradling her shoulders and head against his torso. "Stretch out your legs, Tegan and get comfortable."

"I'll have to talk to our travel agent, Doc; this bed is horribly hard," she whispered, curling up against him. 

"Yes, wellthe accommodations are rather lacking. We shall have to write the management," he replied, adjusting his weight. "And the facilities are rather backward."

She laughed and felt him chuckle in return. "At least we have running water."

"Ah, yes, but is it a good thing when the water can outrun you?" His voice grew softer as he turned down his chin to speak near her ear. 

Tegan sighed. It had been an hour since he had pulled her from the water. She was still shaken from the ordeal. "How long was I"

He was silent for a moment and she ticked away the time by counting his breaths. "Too long," he muttered. His hand left her and she felt him rub at his brow. "Much too long."

She rubbed her cheek into his cool chest. The rain was loud where it dripped from overhead. And when she drew a deep breath, she could smell the jungle and its rotting vegetation, its mud and its river. "Thank you for the dance, Doc," she said gently.

"I had planned on dancing with you for quite some time," he admitted. "I'm sorry that plan didn't come to fruition, but you are welcome, Tegan."

She nodded in reply. They were silent as the night continued around them. Her eyes closed and she sighed somewhat contentedly. It wasn't the Ritz, true, but it was somewhat dry and cool against the heat. But she knew him well enough to know that he would revisit another topic of that had piqued his interest before he would rest. 

"Tegan?"

It was strange to feel his voice rumble out of his chest instead of hearing it. It was almost as equally strange as feeling his cool skin against her cheek and as strange as feeling his arm holding her. She shifted her face and glanced up at him. "Yeah?"

"How have I changed?"

The question was asked flatly, sweetly, almost hesitantly and she knew that he wasn't asking it to corner her or to challenge her. He really did want to know. She had to ask questions herself, however, to know what he wanted from her. After all, no one asked questions without expecting the other person to give away parts of themselves in the answer.

"Before or after we arrived here?"

"Have I changed that much after?" he asked in return. "I was interested in the before, honestly."

Tegan was silent, letting his rapid heartbeat and easy breathing lull her. "When you first regenerated, do you remember what you were like?"

"Different than I had been before, obviously," he said with some humor. When she didn't join in the joke, he shrugged. "I remember being struck by the vitality, the youth in this body immediately. It was such a change." He breathed deeply for a moment and then shrugged again. "Tell me"

"You were so willing to see good everywhere. It almost got you killed on several occasions. You hated violence. You always wanted there to 'be another way'."

He nodded. She felt his chin brush against her crown.

"And then in the warehouse, you just gave up, it seemed. You lost part of yourself when you went to kill Davros. I saw it die in you. Murder, Doctor. You were going to commit murder and if need be, were going to allow your death as well. You, who had always told me that where there was life, there was hope."

"I can't-"

"I know you can't tell me why," she reassured him. "But," she sighed and rubbed her cheek in his chest. "Rabbits! I just need time. It scared me."

"Hmm," he responded. He shifted his legs and brought his arms in tighter around her. "Knowing that, Tegan, why did you stay with me?"

"You told me you needed me."

"I didn't tell you-"

Tegan shifted and glanced up at her friend. "Cripes, Doc, I can read between the lines sometimes, you know."

The Doctor opened his mouth and took several breaths while trying to respond. After a while, he simply sighed. Tegan wasn't finished, however. He had asked his questions, now she wanted to ask hers. There was a little anger. "How have you changed since coming here?" She edged her hips closer to him, inhaling at the rock scraped against her injured thigh. "My sight has changed, I can see your auraat least I think it's your aura. Color glows around you. Before you met that Joiba personthat Ares personyou were golden, cool. But now"

"Interesting," he responded, his voice cracking in his rush to get it out. "And now? Nowthe color has changed, hasn't it?"

"Yes. It's still a little golden, but now has shocks of deep purple through it. And there's redaround your waist," she answered and lifted away from his chest. She tried to meet his eyes. "I don't know what the colors mean"

"I don't quite know what they mean either, Tegan," he agreed. "But it is indicative that I have changed, or at least my brain chemistry has changed."

"How so?"

"As I said earlier, Tegan, I can sense things differently-"

She sighed and pressed the issue: "How so, Doc? How do you sense things different?"

The Doctor stayed silent and she mused that he was thinking of a way out of the conversation. His hand remained on her back and she felt his fingers curl into her skin. "Too broad of a question, Tegan, to answer well."

She frowned and shook her head. "Avoiding the question is not allowed," she bit back. "I'm too tired and worn to draw it from you, Doc."

"All right," he replied. "All right." He inhaled deeply and then pressed his palm flat against her back. "I can smell you, Tegan."

"Thanks a lot."

"No, no, Tegan. It's not that way. I can smell your hair, your skin, your warmth. It's wonderfully aromatic. And"

"And?" she breathed. His voice had fallen in timber and decibel. She leaned in closer to listen to him. 

His hand left her back and she felt the back of his fingers, his knuckles brushing against her cheek. He cleared his throat and continued. "I have looked at you, Tegan. I always knew that your face was symmetric; I knew that you had high cheekbones; I knew that your hips were rounded and your thighs were slim. I knew it, but I didn't sense what it meant."

She stayed silent as his fingers trailed up into her hair. "You're beautiful, Tegan. I can sense the beauty now. I can see the physical package and finally, I suppose, I see how your strength, your personality adds to your attraction. And the whole package is quite alluring. Coupled with our friendship, well"

Tegan gasped and felt his hand cup the back of her head. His skin was almost blessedly cool against her hot body. She breathed in tandem with him as they stayed silent. She could feel his gaze on her and imagined that he was trying to catch her gaze even in the dark. With a somewhat shaky hand both from his admission and her exhaustion and shock, she covered his fingers on her face. "Ares, or whoever he is, told me something" she began, barely above a whisper.

"What?" His voice was as quiet as hers.

"He said that you asked me to stay because you" she turned her eyes down, although he couldn't see them anyway. "Because you want me to stay. Because I'm"

"You're?"

"Cripes, Doc," she responded, her skin feeling hot as she flushed. "Because I'm yours and you wanted me back." She gave a nervous laugh and lowered her hand from his. "Silly, isn't it?"

The Doctor didn't answer immediately and in the ensuing silence, she began to regret telling him something so personal. And then

"Are you?"

"Am I what, Doc?"

"Are you mine?" he asked, his voice very deep and hoarse.

She inhaled sharply and felt his hand flinch to keep her head near him. She wanted to joke it away, but her need to rest was rushing up to meet her. She felt languid and sleepy. "It's ridiculous, Doc. We can barely talk to each other sometimes. And our fights"

"Rather spectacular, aren't they?"

"Full of fireworks, yes," she responded, her voice easing as she sensed he was letting the awkward moment pass.

"Sparks," he agreed.

She listened to him breathe, feeling attuned to the motions of his body. It was almost of no surprised to her then, when he shifted and his hand cradled her head, that she felt his lips near her cheek. "I suppose, if all things are considered, Tegan"

"It's true, isn't it?" she asked. She felt out of her body, floating. Only his hand in her hair kept her grounded. She felt like she had just encountered an ultimate truth, like a religious awakening. 

"Hmm?"

"We need each other, want each other," she blurted out, allowing her thoughts to fall out of her mouth and land at their feet, exposed, helpless, needing support to live. What did she have to lose? She realized that the relationship they had had for the past three years was dead. It had died in the warehouse. The friendship had suffered, and was healing. They had been in limbo since then. He had asked her to stay because he had needed her, wanted her to stay. She had stayed because she had felt that need in him. Either what they were to each other had died and it was best left to rest in peace or something new would be born from the ashes, but there was nothing left to lose. 

"Yes, I suppose we do. I wouldn't have been the same if you left, Tegan," he replied, his voice naked in its sincerity. "I do rather want you to stay with me."

She turned her head slightly and brazenly rubbed her nose against his. 

His breath tickled at the corner of her mouth, teasing the skin there. "We can't go back to the way we were, Tegan. Even a Time Lord can't turn back the clock in his own life."

"But where are we going? What are we going to do?" she asked, her voice catching. 

"Embrace the change? It's the only constant in the Universe," he replied, his voice betraying his amusement. It also showed his tenderness.

"We'll both be uncomfortable with it, you know."

"Oh, I don't doubt it," he agreed. 

She rubbed her nose with his again and was rewarded with an answering nuzzle of his nose against her cheek. When she tried to return the endearment, she found her lips brushing his. Both of them stopped breathing and then his hand tensed and she felt drawn toward him. "Shall we allow the change, Tegan?"

"Yes." The answer was breathed against his lips.

The world narrowed to only a moment, a touch, when his lips covered hers. 


	6. Chapter 6

Authors notes: Sorry this took so long; I wanted to get it somewhat right... Tried not to make this too adult. Warning: sex, somewhat described within.

Tegan had traveled with the Doctor for over three years. She had begun to understand Time. Time, in her mind, somewhere had acquired a capital T. She had seen how it interacted, interlaced, stretched and contracted, flipped and flopped. She knew it was relative. But she didn't understand how it could juststand still.

And yet, it was a moment she didn't want to end. She could smell his wet skin, sweet and fresh, and felt a lone raindrop as it ran from his hair down his cheek, grazing their met mouths. His lips were incredibly cool, reminding her of the river that they had forged. It was beautiful, wonderful, unexpected and yet, strangely fated, she supposed. She ached for the taste he was giving her. Her exhaustion eased a little and she raised her hands to slip them around his neck, under his hair and down his back. When he eased back, it was only to allow her to suck at his lower lip. And that produced shivers in them both.

"Are you cold?" he croaked hoarsely. He eased his arm down to gather her closer.

"A man to whom freezing weather is a spring time walk asking if I'm cold?" she joked, gently. "No, Doc, I'm not cold."

"Ah, yes. Excitation causing increased blood flow to the surface of the skin and increased nerve responseyou know, Tegan? I've always found human sexuality and sensuality to be incredibly interesting. How a simple melding of mouths and tongues can elicit such a response"

"Just humans?" she asked, coyly. 

"Yes, wellusually it takes a little concentration, Tegan," he cleared his throat, but his voice still caught and lowered in timber. "For Gallifreyans, that is."

She nuzzled his neck and listened to him hum in response. As they embraced, her blanket loosened and fell about her shoulders. She wasn't quite sure who held the blanket and who urged it to fall a little. Either way, during their mutual nuzzling and kissing, it fell to her waist. Her skin had dried enough that she wasn't chilled, or maybe it was the increased blood flow to its surface that warmed her. 

"Ah, Tegan" he sighed as his hands fell to the edge of the rough blanket. "If I were less of a gentlemanI could possibly take advantage."

"Gentlemen have sex, Doc; they just do it with manners and style," she joked bluntly. His answering laugh was deep and lodged in his chest as he kissed her nose and brushed his lips against hers again.

"Is that where this is taking us, Tegan?"

"What?"

"Sex."

She was sure she was going to die of embarrassment. She tried to back away from him, but the rough blanket about her legs caught on the ground and worked like a restraining rope. Part of the spell that had been cast over them dispersed. "Rabbits! I should have; I didn't mean; oh cripes."

"No, Tegan," he sighed, slipping his hands around her waist. "Noit was only a question."

He drew her in for a deep kiss, effectively silencing her embarrassment and her statements. She felt like she was drowning in their embrace; she felt like she was being held high in the clean air. His lips were everything; they together were everything. The rain ceased to fall, the wind ceased to blow, she couldn't sense anything and yet she could feel everything. His tongue gently coaxed hers to join his in a friendly dance, like the mambo, like the samba, sensuous and wonderfully melodic.

When he pulled away, she forgot to breathe and she felt like she was dancing on the edge of a flame. "I would have never expected thisfrom you" she whispered.

"Yes, well" he murmured, his lips teasing her earlobe. The words were soft, said into the curve of her ear. "As I said, Tegan, I'm feeling.more. Sensing more. I can feel youryour heatit is quitearousing."

He must have felt her smile, because his finger traced it. "I've felt it; noticed it most of the day. And it seems to be attracting and infecting a very male part of me. Interesting, isn't it? Like two large, overwhelming magnets."

"So," she whispered in return, as she closed her eyes to savor his touch. 

He eased his face back and she felt his breath brush her cheek. "I care for you, Tegan. A great deal. I can't explain more; I don't know more. But I do know that this feels"

"Right," she agreed. She pressed a kiss to the sensitive skin where his shoulder and neck joined. "I feel like we're in a limbo, Doc. I hate limbo. Let's go forward"

"We might regret it," he sighed, dejection lodging in his voice. "It might"

"I need to do something, Doc. Remaining as we are can't happen. That part of our friendship is well and truly dead. We killed it. In the warehouse. I killed it when I walked away and you stuck your oar in when you stopped me."

He laughed at the allusion and she smiled in response. The smile lessened as his hands rose to her shoulders, gently cupping the skin. "Oh, very well, Miss Tegan" he joked quietly. 

Throwing all concern of their friendship to the four winds, she tenderly led his hands down to her chest. His kiss at the same time stole her breath and there was very little she could think about; her mind was overwhelmed by sensation.

**

Moonlight and mud, rain and trees and leaves and drips. In his arms, their clothes torn from the rocks above to tuck under her head, her hips, her buttocks, she lay on her back. The blanket had disappeared and she was naked. Images assaulted her mind. They were the images from the street, from that Joiba. They were images of 'what could happen, if you let it'. They overlapped, swirling, muddying where she was, what she was doing. 

The shock of his lips on her chin, on her neck made her shiver. One vision of him was still above her, gazing down at her while another was gently nuzzling her neck, his head tucked under her chin. The one above smiled and ran his hands through her hair; the Doctor muttered nonsense words against her skin. She was being wrapped in a blanket of sensuality and mixing universes. 

"Doctor," she whispered softly to both of them, to one of them.

"Tegan," replied the solid Doctor. He raised his head to gaze at her; she could see his blue eyes, dark in the night. 

There was nothing else to say. What else was there to say? Friends turned lovers, there was no need to tell one or the other what would they like or need. There was an understanding. 

There was desperation. Sweet, bittersweet, and warm, there was a level of desperation in the kisses he gave her lips; there was a level of desperation in the way she held his shoulders. Both were awkward. He was awkward from lack of knowledge of what to do, and how to do it. But the desperation was his driving force. She could sense that he wasn't willing to see their friendship die but was unable to truly understand where it was going, where it had to go. She was awkward because she did understand what was happening, where their friendship had to go. Their fumbling was from inexperience and the pure driving need of each other that had driven them to that point.

There was tenderness. Her touch to his cheek, to his shoulder, to sweep his hair back from his eyes was done with gentle caresses. What wasn't said with her mouth was portrayed with her hands. He delicately laid kisses on her brow, her eyelids, her neck and lips. The way he nuzzled her, employing infinite care in use of tongue and lips spoke a myriad of words that would never, ever emanate from his mouth. She gently, slowly, eased the zipper of his trousers down and kissed away his embarrassment, his insecurity as he sharply inhaled. Thoughtfulness of caress, affection in the breathed sighs, the gentle kiss, the aching, unsure touch, it all showed their caring for one another.

There was only one moment of hesitation. He hesitated over her, his arms tense, his hair falling over his brow. She lay under him, her legs wrapped about his hips, cradling him, lovingly holding his cool body to her heat. She could feel him, cold, almost startling so against her heat. The rain had stopped and the moon had peaked from the heavy clouds overhead. She saw his sad smile in the dim light it afforded.

"Doc?"

He shook his head and she quieted. 

In her overlapping dream vision, she heard him saying loving words, whispering to her that he didn't want to let her go that he cared deeply. That he would be lost without her, that part of him had died when she had begun to run from him. The voice was weak, but she felt the overwhelming honesty in them. He didn't understand the feelings; couldn't understand them. But he felt a need to be intimate with her. The attraction of her femininity to his masculine side drove him nearly edgy with need. 

But this Doctor, this real Doctor, lying cradled against her body, had his expression changing between almost sad caring and fascination. Knowing he was lost, she reached up to pull him down into a kiss. Right before they touched, she whispered a quiet: "It's all right, Doctor."

"Quite all right," he agreed his voice so very hoarse that she barely recognized it. "Tegan." Her name was said in a breath, against the tender skin of her lips and she shivered from the touch. 

Knowing she had to make the final decision on their joining, she nibbled at his lips, suckling the tender lower one between her own lips. His sharp intake of breath was followed by her running her fingers through his hair and pulling him closer. She lewdly, more in an effort to remove further thinking from his mind than to be outlandishly erotic, traced his lips with her tongue. He tasted like a fresh water icicle. After a moment, he growled low in his throat and captured her mouth almost brutishly hard. His tongue chased hers back into her mouth and they melded like water and ice, fire and flame. 

Her legs tightened and urged him closer. And then there was no argument, no decisions, no worries or cares. They joined in a firestorm of sensation which ignited both of them. The dream vision Doctor arched his back as they joined, moaned her name and slowly dissipated into nothing. There was nothing but the Doctor and her and the primal rhythm into which they fell. 

Her moans of passion and his answering grunts filled the surrounding forest like symphony written for the moon, a celebration of the most basic joining that could occur between a man and a woman. They grew in pitch, neither caring to stifle what came naturally from them. Her nails dug into his shoulders; his fingers left bruises on her hips. Her lips bit at his neck; his lips left marks on her shoulders. She gazed at him, trying to burn his passion flushed, pleasure ridden face in her mind. His eyes were closed as if he savoring heaven.

Her completion rushed to meet her; she fought to keep her eyes open. One of his hands fell to her leg to hike it higher on his hip, to deepen their joining. His other hand rose to her hair, burying in the curls. The touch of his lips, tenderly, sweetly, almost chastely against her chin combined with the natural rhythm of her body forced her into release. Her eyes closed. In her self-imposed darkness, she heard his moan, felt his breath stop and felt the minute shiver that ran through his body. 

And then, in the sudden quiet filled with their harsh panting, she heard her name said with reverence and caring. She smiled and answered his call with his own name whispered back. And then, as he made room for himself, turning her toward the rock, towards safety, he spooned behind her, his arm falling protectively around her hips. The lack of sleep for the last three days overwhelmed her and she fell into slumber.

**

"Are you awake, Tegan?" 

She blinked her eyes open and found her face barely six inches from the rock. It was dark gray with a hint of green lichen growing on its surface. She took a deep breath and nodded, not trusting her voice. A nudge to his arm had her turning over. He remained where he was. 

"Cripesis it late?"

"Not very," he answered his voice hoarse. She noticed that he was still naked and that they were both covered in the sole blanket that had made the journey with them. "We will have to be on our way again very soon, however. Chitzen Itza is not far away, maybe six or seven miles to the north, northeast."

She nodded and then rubbed at her temple. "Rabbits! Sleeping on rock is worse than a night binge on alcohol," she complained. "I feel like I have a hangover."

"Yes, well" he muttered, his hand raising to rub at his neck. "It is rather primitive conditions."

Tegan agreed, wincing with a frown. She lay down on her back and gazed up at him. He stared off at the rock, his eyes hooded and his lips tight. "Doc"

"Yes, Teganwe should get moving" he said quietly and levered up off the ground with a bounce in his step. The blanket dropped back around her hips gently, as if he had adjusted with his own hand. Amazed that he was standing in front of her completely naked, Tegan found a giggle pushing out of her lips before she could stop it. He glanced about for his trousers and frowned, his hands falling to his hips. She rolled over and glanced to the bush and tree next to their rocky outcropping. His trousers rested on one of the branches. 

"Hmm, did you toss them there or did I?" Tegan asked innocently.

"You were more keen to have me out of them than I was, Tegan," he responded. She watched as he frowned and began to climb down out of their small camp to retrieve them. Almost playfully, she turned over on her stomach to continue watching his performance. She was surprised to see the marks on his shoulders and a small bruise on his hip where she had pressed her foot the night before. The slight purple blemishes didn't detract from his lean muscular form and she watched the beauty of his body in motion. His arms flexed, his buttocks tightened as he moved hand over hand down the slight cliff to the ground. As he retrieved his trousers shook them out and lifted an eyebrow. "Enjoying the show, are you, Tegan?"

"I would have never taken you for an exhibitionist," she returned.

"I'm not," he stated, haughtily. As he climbed into his clothes, he glanced up at her again. "We really should get moving."

"Give me a moment," she replied. Opting to be as shocking as the Doctor had been, she rose, allowing the blanket to fall to the ground at her feet. She bent to gather her skirt and the top. Carefully not looking at the Doctor, she put on her clothes. When she finished, she glanced at him. He was frozen, openly gaping at her, his trousers half-zipped. "You'll need your shirt."

"Bring it down, will you?"

She laughed then. His voice was barely recognizable. He cleared his throat.

As she turned to scale down the side of the cliff, she stopped and met his gaze. He had finished pulling up his trousers and was running his hands through his hair. "Are we all right, Doc?" she asked quietly.

"Well, of course we are, Tegan. We're alive; where's there's life, there's hope," he calmly stated. "And this hike today isn't in danger of killing either one of us, I should think."

"That wasn't what I meant," she replied simply. Then she climbed down.

When she reached the ground he was self-consciously staring at his feet. She held out his shirt on one finger as if it hung on a coat rack. 

"Ah, wellI suppose you're referring to" he waved his hand toward their camp. It was clear of evidence from the their night. "Yes, wellit is rather late toregret what occurred." He stopped and shrugged into his shirt. "You don't regret it, do you?"

"No," she said quietly. "No, it's not like that. I don't regret it, but it is rather strange. I feel as though very little has changed"

"Very little has changed," he retorted. "We simply mated, Tegan."

"There's no simply about it," she warned. "But no, I don't regret it at all. It was quite pleasurable. Very"

"Extremely," he offered. He finished buttoning his shirt and approached her, his hands falling to her shoulders. "We both knew something had to occur with this friendship, yes? Something new, something different. It couldn't continue."

She nodded. "To tell the truth"

"Please."

"It felt right."

He agreed kindly. "It did, Tegan. It did at that. But I suggest that we have a talk about this all in a few days. We're too close to it."

"You're calm about it, Doc."

"Getting upset would only worsen the matter," he suggested. "Are you ready? We can talk as we go"

She sighed. The Doctor turned and walked away from her, holding the GPS in his hand. After a moment, she shook her head, understanding that the relationship had changed, but the Doctor was most definitely as he always had been. She fell into step behind him; some things would never change. He always was in front. 


	7. Chapter 7

Tegan panted, leaning into the tree. The Doctor continued for several paces, engrossed in the GPS, until he realized that she wasn't following him. His glance over his shoulder had him sighing. "Are you all right, Tegan?"

"Just within a hair's breath of my own death by heat exhaustion, that's all," she retorted. "Other than that, I'm perfectly fine."

He frowned and paced back several steps. She panted and glanced about the forest with a discerning eye. As far as she could tell the plant life was getting slightly thinned out. If it was anything like her basic ecology module in science class, that meant they were approaching something like civilization. She squinted her eyes and considered the Doctor. His aura had changed slightly: there was less red about his waist and a fair amount of purple flushing amber surrounding him. "Feeling less tense?" she asked, surprised that she was stabbing a guess at what had changed in him.

The Doctor lifted an eyebrow, adjusted to small knobs on the GPS and nodded. "Yes, I am. There's been a slight change in my hormonal flow in the last twenty-four hours"

"Has there?" she asked, almost impishly.

He stared at the object in his hand and held it up. "Well yes. There is a usual change in hormonal flow after a heightened release of testosterone. I suppose it has something to do intrinsically with" his voice drifted off and he glanced at her. "Ah, yes. Yes, Tegan. I am less tense" he replied, fumbling with the switches on the GPS. He tried to keep his gaze away from hers. She could tell, however, when a new thought overrode his embarrassment. "How did you know?"

Tegan squinted her eyes and nodded to him. "The colors about you: they've changed again."

The Doctor looked surprised. "Interesting. I wonder what has changed in your brain chemistry to allow that. I suppose it has something to do with your visual cortex, of course" 

"It's made me uneasy, you know" she bit back. "Interesting or not."

He sighed and turned around to walk away from her. "Yes, wellthe sooner we reach our destination, the sooner we'll get you sorted out. Have you caught your breath?"

She gave a frown and a bent to stretch out her thighs. Sleeping on the rock had made her sore. How he could be as active as he was, she didn't know. But then again, he hadn't been the one on the bottomshe blushed. She knew they had to make time, but he was more brisk than usual and wouldn't meet her eyes. His eyes were cloudy as well, the blue in them full of gray and she found he was biting his lip more often than usual. With startling clarity, she saw that he was upset about the prior night no matter how much feigned nonchalance he used.

"Oh no" she breathed.

"Hmmm?" he asked. "Are you ready, Tegan? We should push on."

He didn't wait for an answer and started forward. She fell into step behind him, staring at his leaf and grass stained white shirt. They pressed on as the day became a sauna and even in her short top and skirt, she felt the lines of sweat forming on her body. She stepped and stumbled, walked and fell after him, the whole time, her mind replaying their interlude the previous night. 

The only thing that jarred the images from her mind was the Doctor stopping in the forest and humming happily. The different sound brought a smile to her face. "Found the answer to the Universe, have you?" she joked.

"Eons ago, if you must know," he replied. "And the end of our quest. Our grail so to speak" He held aside the vines ahead of him so that she could see their destination.

Pyramids crumbling and covered in moss and planets rose out of the forest ahead of them. The rock itself was light colored stone with darker mortar lines shocked through it. Moss and vines covered all available surfaces. She wiped sweat from her brow.

"That's Chitzen Itza?"

"Yes, or ratherwhat's left of it," the Doctor muttered, glancing down at her. "And our destination."

"But where would Illiana hide a ship here?" Tegan pressed. She continued to look around what must have been some sort of a playing center or large open courtyard. It looked like the place hadn't been disturbed in hundreds if not thousands of years. "This place is a tomb."

"Not quite," he argued. Then he jumped down and she realized they had been standing on some sort of a block lip. He reached back up and waved her forward. As his hands closed on her hips and she was hefted down on level with him, he met her eyes.

"It's not necessarily a tomb," he croaked, his voice low. His hands seemed glued to her hips. "But she did say that this was one of the few places on Earth that Ares' power was lessened. It was a safe place for her"

"So he can't step foot here?" she whispered, glancing around. "We're safe?"

The Doctor nodded once and then shrugged. "Maybe not the entire place, mind youpossibly the main pyramid would be my guess. We'll have to search. If the 'safe place' is limited to a very small area, then I think she won't have a look out for us. Too risky."

"I'm not splitting up," she said plainly, leaning away from him. 

"I wasn't going to suggest it," he replied with raised eyebrows. He gave her a hint of a smile when he grasped her hand and gave a twitch of the head toward the pyramids and buildings. "It's only an hour or so until sunset, Tegan. I suggest we make the most of the time."

**

It was getting dark when they approached the final and, the Doctor thought, only truly applicable place for a ship to be hidden. The Grand Temple pyramid was in the center of the complex and as she jogged behind him, it grew in size until it filled her entire vision. It certainly was large, she thought. But where on Earth would anyone hide a ship inside of it?

"I don't know," the Doctor answered when she asked him. "More than likely underneath it," he muttered.

"Under itbut that would mean"

"That this was built on top of it? It isn't inconceivable, Tegan. Remember, the Joiba are older than the Earth, actually, they are older than most of this part of the galaxy. It would be nothing to have a ship buried under this pyramid."

They slowed to a stop at the bottom of the steps and stared upwards. She had heard the term 'stairway to heaven' before, but had never seen it so literally portrayed. "I'll get dizzy going up there," she said testily. 

"It's the only way in, if I remember correctly," he replied. "I'll be with you; you'll be fine. It'll take a while to climb, though and in the dark, it'll be dangerous." He started to climb, his hand still firmly holding hers. "So"

She sighed and trudged behind him. As they quietly stepped and climbed, continuously moving upward, she found that she was keeping rhythm of her steps with the chirping of the insects and birds around her. It was almost surreal and incredibly calming to hear a symphony of nature around them. When they crested the top, she felt the pain in her legs and an answering pain in her head where her pounding blood pulsed. It seemed trivial, however. She felt like she was on top of the world. She walked to the southern edge and stared out at the mist and trees in the falling twilight. 

The Doctor said something, but she didn't hear him. She shook her head. "It's like the Eye of Orion," she whispered. "Peaceful"

She felt his cool hand on her elbow and then another on her waist as he came to stand behind her. "Tegan?"

Her head turned slightly and she glanced up at him. "It's beautiful here. So peaceful." She barely registered his touch, but her hand fell subconsciously to touch at his fingers. The smile on his face flared for a moment, approaching a grin, before it faded and his hand withdrew from her waist. 

"Very. Does it remind you of some-"

"The Eye of Orion," she replied, turning her face into the cooling breeze.

"Ah yes. Quite. I have a few theories on that," he responded, his hair tumbling across his brow. "We have a little time until dark, Tegan. We need to get inside."

She blinked, as if coming out of a daze and nodded decisively. When he turned, she followed along carefully, and her face changed into a mask of confusion. "What are all thosethings."

"Hieroglyphs," the Doctor corrected with a small nod. "Very like Egyptiana pictorial representation of a spoken language. The Mayan carvings had people fooled for a long time. They've figured it out recently. But they've never completely understood the use for this templeis it a temple? Is it a burial tomb? Is it a water gather point or a site for human sacrifice? Apparently, if I'm correct"

Tegan frowned and rolled her eyes playfully. "If."

He smiled. "Yes, well, if I'm correct, it's something completely different. Something morecosmic."

"Ever the mysterious one, aren't you?" she complained good-naturedly. With a sigh, she crouched next to him. "What are you doing?"

"Opening the door," he grunted as he finished turning two dials and pulled on the stone. It came up slowly, apparently on a counter weight. Inside was a very steep stairwell leading downwards. He glanced up at her and then swung his legs over, reaching out his hand. "Shall we, Tegan?"

With a deep frown, she stared down into the depths of the stairwell and then up at him. She knew that gleam in his eyes. In the fading light of the day, his eyes appeared almost dusky blue and purple. "I know I'm going to regret this"

His smile widened and he began to climb downwards, leading her by the hand. 

**

The light had quickly faded and the Doctor's pen torch barely sliced through the damp dark. Soon, it too began to fail. She glanced upwards, but night had fallen and the way to the fresh air was hidden in the dark. He shut it off suddenly, without warning and she nearly yiped. His hand tightened in comfort. "Did you have to do that? And why?" she muttered, her toes prodding around from the next step.

"To save batteries and yes," he sighed. "I can see relatively well in the dark, Tegan. And it isn't too wide through here. If we lean into the walls, we'll be all right. Just go slowly."

"Are you sure we need to go down here? I mean, really"

"It's the only way left to go," he replied, his disembodied voice floating back to her. "As Holmes once said: "Investigate all avenues, discount them one by one and whatever remains, however silly, is the only answer."

"That's paraphrased."

"Actually, Doyle paraphrased me," he sniffed. "He never did listen to my suggestions. Now, just walk slowly, Tegan. Feel around for the steps and we'll be all right."

They continued downward, inching really. Tegan became very used to the dim and her eyes ceased to crave the light. She didn't know what was cooler, though: the Doctor's hand or the cool rocks against which her arms and back brushed. With a sigh, she told him she was tired.

"Humans," he replied with a sigh. "We can't stop now."

Finally, after what seemed an hour, they slowed and at last, came to a halt on a level ground. "Where are we?" she whispered.

"At the entrance."

"Of what?"

"Our safe haven," he answered with a sigh, as though it should have been apparent to her. She yawned in response.

"NowI'll just have to figure out how to get in there. I'm quite sure, no I'm positive that our safe haven is on the other side of it. Illiana's ship"

She nodded and felt cold creeping up her back and spine that wasn't from the chill around her. She frowned as she felt a presence creeping into her mind. 

Ominously, she glanced up the stairwell to see that the dark was filling with something morethan the night 


	8. Chapter 8

'We meet again, my dear'.

Tegan shook her head viciously. "Doctor, hurry."

The cold that had tickled at her spine now invaded and infiltrated her limbs. Her fingers were going numb, her legs numb; she felt as though her midriff was being embraced in frigid arms. The hair on the back of her neck stood up and she barely kept her teeth from chattering. She pushed her body into the small nook by the Doctor and felt his arms as his hands fought to open the encrypted door in the dark.

'Shying from me, little one? I had thought that you would be thanking me for your little vision the other day'. 

Tegan strained her eyes and ears. She searched in vain for a glimpse of her predator; she couldn't hear his footsteps yet. She squeezed her eyes shut and concentrated on shouting back at him. 'Leave me alone'. 

'Ah, dear, but you are my one line to my wife, my son.'

"Doctor," Tegan whispered. "Please hurry."

"I am, Tegan," he grit out. She shied further away from the approaching doom she felt. With a sigh, she felt him adjust his stance and pull back on the door. "I think it's open, Tegan. Help me. Reach down and pull."

She did, nearly tripping over herself to help him wrench open the door. It lifted up and slid back, giving them an approximate two foot area through which to squeeze. A low level golden glow emanated from beneath their feet. "Oh Docwe have to get throughAres is"

"Here, yes. I felt him when he began his descent. Get through the hole, Tegan. There's only room for one at a time. It looks to be a vertical shaft about ten meters long. Justfind foot and hand holds and climb down."

"But" she hesitated. She reached out to grab his arms, but he turned at the same time and she felt his arms uneasily fall to embrace her. "Doc?"

His wince was clear to see even in the dim. "He's still a fair distance away," he whispered. "I can keep him out of your mind long enough to get you down the shaft. Without the interference, he'll be able to overwhelm you, Tegan. You won't have the ability or the want to climb down."

"And if I remember what you were like on the-"

"This is no time to argue," he hissed back, his face contorting in pain.

"No," she whispered back; her decision was made. "I'm not leaving you. Two minds have to be better than one, right?"

"In our case, no," he joked in a whisper. Footfalls on the stairs harkened the arrival of their predator. She frowned and stepped around him to take his hand. "But as I always say, a trouble shared is a trouble doubled."

Tegan tried to stand firm. She reached down inside herself and gathered up all the anger she felt at the intrusion into her mind. With a growl, she tried to force it out, to make it power her thoughts. She wanted to hurl them at the approaching Joiba like a mental hand grenade. But the Doctor said her name quietly and released her hand. In the next breath, she felt his arm wind about her waist. "No, Tegan," he responded, pulling her flank against his. "He's the God of discord."

Her mind whirled. She could feel the sudden warmth that the Doctor's mind had afforded for her beginning to wane, but she could still think. "This would be so much easier if he were the God of Love"

The Doctor's arm tightened on her waist and she braced herself to hear the dreaded 'brave heart' speech, but in the blink of an eye she realized that they did have something to at least lessen the Joiba's hold on their minds. "Doc"

"Yes, I do know what you're going to say, Tegan. I agree. Think on our friendship, our tie, and our times together. We have time. Think on it." He released her hip and she felt him gently prod her toward opening. "Go. I'll be right behind you."

She wanted to argue, but she knew that he did have a point. "You had better be," she bit out. She turned as he stepped to block the shaft from the stairwell. 

Her muscles were killing her from the climbing and walking of the last two days but she slowly made her way down the shaft. She kept her mind on the Doctor, on their travels, on their last night.

She bit her lip and closed her eyes.

__

Years of running, hiding, chasing and avoiding. Nights of eating together in the TARDIS; the Doctor holding her after the Mara had left her mind destitute, pained and empty. Her hands holding his naked shoulders as his hips slowly and sensuously moved against her. His face easing into a gentle smile when she thanked him; that same mouth turning into a frown as they argued; those same lips catching hers in a kiss as their bodies joined. How she cared for him, loved him. 

The last thought she had froze her cold as her feet touched the ground. She heard a grunt from above her as her mind closed down. And then she saw his feet and hands as he climbed down quickly, nearly sliding to her level. 

"Really, Tegan," he moaned. "Couldn't you keep your mind steady on one thought?"

She winced. "Where is he?"

"He was a good deal further away before your mind slipped," the Doctor replied. "But he is very near now and I have a feeling we're not to oursafe place" He glanced up the shaft and quickly turned, reaching out to grab her hand. "Yes, wellI do think we should run, Tegan."

"To where?" she gasped as he jogged out ahead of her, pulling her hard behind him. Her feet slipped on the rock and she glanced down to see that the rock was slick from moisture. And she was tired. Bone achingly tired. But the Doctor and his blasted Gallifreyan physiology, he was able to run head long down the tunnel barely out of breath.

"Towards the light," he responded.

She lagged behind until she heard heavy boots in the shaft behind her and then she almost passed the Doctor. It helped that he was holding his head with the hand that wasn't holding her hand. His face twisted in pain and she pulled her hand from his, slipping her arm about his waist. Around him there was a brilliant purple and orange cloud. His grunt made her begin a mantra: "Come on, Doc. Hold on. Try to push him out. I'll help. Just keep going."

"Ah, sweetlingdoes your lover have a problem?"

The voice was closer than she had anticipated. The Doctor was becoming a lead weight on her arm, gasping in pain; his aura was changing, darkening as if something was bleeding color from him. The rocks became lighter, smoother; the tunnel was lit almost brightly with a yellowish light. At an intersection, she let her intuition lead her and they rocketed down the next corridor without a thought. 

They backpedaled as they came to a sudden end. 

The corridor had ended at the edge of a large open room and was raised about ten feet off the ground. And in the center of the room sat another, smaller pyramid. Tegan not only stopped to keep both she and the now moaning Doctor from tumbling over the edge and into the pit, but also because of the completely onyx solid pyramid that rose majestically out of the floor. "What on Earth"

"Illiana" the Doctor breathed. 

"That's her ship?" Tegan asked, quietly. 

"Thank you."

The words were said practically at her shoulder and she jumped, trying to pull the Doctor to the side. She found the dark man right behind her, his dark eyes fixed on them. "Thank you both for leading me to my wife and son"

She felt him toying with her mind, poking at it, worrying at it like a child would a scab or scar. She closed her eyes and fell back against the rock wall at her back. With a wince, she heard the Doctor's back as it slapped against the wall next to her. Warding off Ares like using an ancient talisman, she held her hand up and forced her mind to settle on the Doctor, on the thoughts she had had earliertheir friendship, their times It made her head ache.

And all of her concentration ended as the God laughed. "Ah, you think your caring for the this Time Lord can hold me off? Oh, my dearyou are delightful. I can see why he allowed lust to penetrate his normally bland mind. If you could have seen some of his thoughts Did you know he has a liking for silkon you?"

Tegan's eyes snapped open. The Doctor's hand grabbed at hers. "No, Tegan," he gasped out. "Don't give in to anger."

She swallowed hard and began edging along the wall. She thought she had seen a ramp to their left. She had to get down to that pyramid, away from this awesome dark force in her mind. The Doctor moved slowly next to her. "But, Docthe painin your head"

"Will never ease," the god laughed. He leaned back against the wall as though lounging. 

A touch of cold air at her back made her turn and run, the Doctor thought of the same idea and together they ran down the ramp, launching into space when they were about five feet from the ground. 

They hit the ground running. 

"She can't protect you. Not from me. She'll let me have my playthings; she always does."

She stumbled and felt the Doctor's hand pull her along until she got her feet under her. A hundred yards.

"Oh, I think I can allow the fish to run on the line, little one. Plenty of time. He wants you over his console in that ship of his, you know, Tegan, darling."

The Doctor's hand flew to his temple and he let out a shout of pain. She bit her lip and tried to force movement into her aching legs.

Seventy-five yards. 

"And you would like that, wouldn't you, darling," came the laughed continuation. "Oh and you would love to hear those words that you so missed last night. He took you in lust, not love, child. You'll never hear them. I said he wanted you. Not that he loved you. He's like a child with a toyhe wanted you back."

She closed her eyes in pain and ran headlong in her darkness, clinging to the Doctor's hand. 

Twenty-five yards.

"We're never going to make it," she puffed.

"Brave heart, Tegan," he remarked back. "Run"

"And Doctor, my dear old chap, she wants you like a bitch in heat, as I think you understood last night," Ares laughed. "And I think you have gone far"

They slid together up against the smooth, cold surface of the pyramid. She could see no door and her head ached, her legs ached, her lungs felt like they were bursting, and she felt like her soul was being ripped from her. "A dead end," she moaned.

"Ah, not quite," the Doctor replied. He let out a shout as he felt Tegan being pulled backwards, away from him. She whimpered, and flailed about with her arms, trying in vain to grab at the Doctor, at the pyramid's smooth side, at anything that would anchor her. She sailed up and away from her friend, four feet from the ground. The Doctor lunged for her, reaching out, catching her by the right hand. 

"Let her go!" he yelled, his voice very deep and hard. "Let her go, Haldian!"

Tegan felt as though she was being held in an ice cold iron fist. She tilted from side to side as if being shaken. A growl fled her throat as if chased and she screamed rage at mistreatment to the Joiba behind her. She didn't understand what was happening, but she hated it. The pyramid was going further and further away. The Doctor was holding her by the right hand, being dragged along behind her. It seemed useless to her. "Let me go, Doc! Get in that pyramidyou can get me out later. He won't hurt me"

The Doctor bit his lip and shook his head, keeping pace with her. "Haldian!"

Tegan slowly stopped and hung in the air, suspended. As she slowly turned, she saw the Joiba leaning up against the wall, his hand causally extended as if supporting her. He turned his head, as if contemplating her and then turned her back towards the Doctor. 

"It's almost touching," he shouted. "You, Time Lord, begging of a Joiba to have your lover returned to you."

"She's my friend and an innocent" the Doctor responded. He grasped both her hands and pulled her towards him. With a sigh of relief, she floated down into his arms. His left arm encircled her waist and his right her shoulders. She could feel him panting in relief. 

"He wouldn't hurt me" she breathed, overwhelmed by his relief and the genuine caring in his voice. 

"Joiba have the ability to absorb and terminate life," he replied hoarsely. "He would do so"

"Ah, true" Haldian/Ares replied, hopping down from the ledge with grace. "Yes, I would do so without a second thought if tormenting you wasn't entertaining to watch. The joy I could get from seeing you mourn a lifeless body. I need only snap my fingers" 

Tegan felt pressure on her throat and her eyes widened in surprise. The Doctor pushed her away from his chest and stared at her, his face twisting into a mask of terror and pain. 

"You begged her to stay with you, you pitiful Time Lord. All that power that your race has gathered. You have it too, but it's undermined simply by compassion and caring. All your emotional separatist undercurrent, all your logical thinking and you nearly fell apart when this one simple woman tried to walk away from you. You don't love her, but you need her, desperately."

Tegan found she couldn't breathe. Gasping, she grasped the Doctor's arm, pleading for help. Her vision was going black around the edges. Her legs were getting weak.

"You needed her so much that you agreed to have intercourse with her. You know how she will perceive it. You're glad to use the manipulation to keep her with you, don't you? And you wanted her. Didn't you? Thought about her in those lovely quiet yet quite confining cloisters you have. Lust is alien to you, but very pleasurable, isn't it? The feeling of her hot body under yours; the cry of a woman climaxing, it's forgotten by your kind."

Tegan gagged and fell to her knees. The Doctor sank next to her, gripping her arms almost painfully. His blue eyes were wide and his mouth was open as if to say something, but nothing came out. 

"I could kill you both. You know that, don't you?"

"Yes," the Doctor muttered and then shouted. "Yes! Without hesitation and with no effort at all! Haldian, please!"

"Painful to watch something you care for, but have no understanding of nearly lying dead at your feet. You can withdraw you pitiful attempt to combat my mind."

With a cry, Tegan fell forward. The Doctor was there to catch her. She saw tears in his eyes as he laid his palm against her cheek. She saw such rainbows of color about him that she could only think of an oil spill in the rain. He seemed to take breaths in tandem with her, as if forcing her to take her next breath. 

"She lives!" the Joiba shouted, almost gaily.

"What do you want?" the Doctor asked quietly. "You have no plans for this world that I can interfere in. I have nothing you want. I'm insignificant to you. To any of your kind"

"You've come between Illiana and I," Haldian rumbled warningly. "In a way that no human could. You can put up a fight and help to conceal her. And it does such a wonderful service to me to watch you fail to understand what you hold in your arms, Time Lord. I'm the God of Discord, Hate and Bloodlust on this planet. Don't you see that this is entertainment" His gaze fell to Tegan.

The Doctor rose and nodded. His arms held Tegan, taking most of her weight. She weakly returned the clearly necessary embrace. With measured steps he began to walk backwards. "You want to play with me because you think that attaining your wish is very easy for you."

Tegan muttered helpless words against his neck where he tucked her head. She could feel how his hearts beat irregularly and powerfully. 

"You want your wife. Noble but misguided. She clearly does not want you. Because" 

The Doctor turned and Tegan saw they were merely steps away from pyramid. 

"Stalling for time, Gallifreyan."

With more strength than Tegan knew the Doctor had, he twisted, hefting her in his arms. He cradled her, tenderly. "She made this lock one that you could never break. The Joiba might be godlikebut they still don't have control of Time. And this is something that I can control very well" he shouted.

With a grunt, he turned and pressed both Tegan and he up against the side of the pyramid. She whimpered from the pressure. She could hear her friend whispering nonsense math terms, his eyes squeezed tight. Around them a light, like thousands of tiny fireflies, began to form. Tegan stared at the Joiba as his face began to turn into a mask of hatred. She thought she was looking at the Devil himself. He raised his hands.

"Doc-"

It was the last thing she said.


	9. Chapter 9

We have the epilogue soon to come...

**

With a grunt, he turned and pressed both Tegan and he up against the side of the pyramid. She whimpered from the pressure. She could hear her friend whispering nonsense math terms, his eyes squeezed tight. Around them a light, like thousands of tiny fireflies, began to form. Tegan stared at the Joiba as his face began to turn into a mask of hatred. She thought she was looking at the Devil himself. He raised his hands.

"Doc-"

It was the last thing she said.

**

Time ceased to have meaning. She floated free, alone, except for those beautiful little fireflies, flittering about her body and the being that held her in his arms. The Doctor, she reminded herself; it's the Doctor. But for the life of her, she couldn't remember exactly what he looked like. The being that held her shape-shifted, changed every moment, with every breath. First an old man, then a hobo, a dandy, the curly man she remembered and then her cricketer; a large bear of a man, a small man, a slight man with curly hair, and then one with a mop, a dear man who reminded her of her uncle, a flop, a thin, striking man, a strong featured man, and then finally, a kindly, gentile man of indefinite age. They mixed and mingled, changing at will until it was clear that no one man, but one being held her closely, tightly yet tenderly. 

The fireflies started to dissipate and she nearly wept at the loss of beauty. The tiredness had left her limbs, her legs and her arms. She felt no pain. 

And then suddenly, she was in a dark place, alone but for the ever-changing being who held her. He put her on a surface. She couldn't tell what he was doing; it was all hazy, dark and cold. Cold was seeping back into her, but it was unlike Ares' presence. 

"But" she breathed to no one. "I don't want this cold. It means I'll have to leave the warmth forever."

A filmy woman appeared at her elbow, kindly gazing at her with warmth and love. Tegan turned her head to meet the woman's gentle stare. "Where am I?"

"At a crossroads."

"What's that?"

"A place where you have to make a decision. You can be relieved of your burden or you can be returned to your pain."

"Pain?" Tegan frowned. 

"Your soul has been wrenched from your body. A strong tie is holding it here, but it is a tie that can be easily broken, if you wish. You can be relieved of this burden of life and go on to your reward, whatever it may be, or you can return to your life, or your pain."

"I hardly call life a pain," she whispered. 

"You wish to live? Your soul shall be returned to your body if you wish it."

"Of course, I wish it. It's not a decision at all"

The woman smiled, as if she had always known the answer. "Then embrace your tie, pull yourself to life."

Tegan reached out to hold that which bonded her to life. She found nothing but her friend. Her hands closed on the shifting, changing hand that touched her chest and she found herself hurtling down a tunnelthe heat grew warmer, the air sweeter

**

"Mmmm, roses" 

The words sounded alien to her ears although her mouth had promoted them. They croaked to the enclosed space and sounded breathless, barely human, to her.

The Doctor was bending over her, his mouth centimeters from her own. Her neck was bent back almost painfully, angled. His hand was lightly resting on her chest, while the other was holding her brow, keeping her head well back. His eyes widened, and his mouth quickly turned up into a smile. "Tegan"

She frowned, because his voice sounded as harsh as hers was to her ears. Her eyesight was still clouded at the edges, but she could see that his eyes were wet, almost regretful. "Doctor?" she breathed, her voice rough. "Where are we?"

He began to laugh, his shoulders shaking quickly in time with his chuckles. She didn't know what she had said that was humorous, but he was smiling widely and laughing freely, like a child on Christmas. It amazed her to feel how weak she was. Knowing that, she supposed, he gently laid her body flat and put his head against her chest. After a moment, he lifted his head from her body and gave her one of the sweetest, widest smiles she had ever seen. "Normal, Tegan. It's beating normally, properly," he croaked.

She frowned, but turned her head to see Illiana and Victor standing quietly to the side. The mother's hands were gently resting on her son's shoulders. Tegan blinked and Illiana nodded. It was an understanding that occurred under Tegan's consciousness; she felt it prickling at her soul. "Thank you" she breathed.

The woman shook her head. "I merely formed the bridge, Tegan. It was you that made the decision."

The Doctor's eyes widened and he turned, still kneeling. He left his hand on Tegan's stomach, holding her hand as he tried to address the Joiba. "A soul bridge?" he asked. "Haldian took her soul?"

Illiana tapped Victor on his back to get the child to walk away. She then sat gently on the ground by Tegan's head, her legs tucked under her. After a sigh, she shook her head. "He didn't entirely take her soul. But he did remove it from her body for a short time. Because you already had activated the time lock and were in process of transporting here, he could not completely separate her. I merely had to find her through her attachment to this world, this life, and lay a footbridge."

Tegan could feel the Doctor's hand shake, minutely, on hers. "And the bonding of her body and soul?"

Illiana smiled. "Complete. Tegan made the decision, a firm one."

"Thank Rassilon," he muttered. He glanced back down at Tegan and smiled. 

"The only thing she had to follow back" Illiana replied with a shake of her fair head. "Was you. I'm quite surprised."

Tegan frowned. "Why?"

"He's a Time Lord." Illiana gave her a nod and patted her shoulder tender. "Rest, Tegan. I shall be taking you and the Doctor back to a place of civilization. It is the least I could do for the help you gave us."

"But we didn't- we led him here"

"Oh, my dear child," Illiana replied with a tone that reminded Tegan of her mother. "He knew where we were all the time. There's nowhere on this planet I can be without him knowing. His blood flows through Victor's veins. But he cannot get in here, in my ship and neither could I. Only a Time sensitive could. But because he knew the Doctor was the only one to break through the barrier and get me to safety, he had to follow you, know where you were. And that gave me time to get here ahead of him and hide myself and Victor."

Tegan frowned and looked to the Doctor. He nodded. "Yes, I knew she was not inside her ship. I knew the lock was Time sensitive. I felt it when I neared it."

"Victor and I entered the lock from our point of safety as the Doctor tripped it," Illiana concluded gently.

As she began to fall asleep, she heard the rest of the conversation.

The Doctor sighed, rubbing his neck. "The barrier undid the damage to my cortex, I assume."

"Yes. And Tegan is righted as well."

Tegan tried to talk, but her voice failed her and she simply yawned. The Doctor squeezed her hand and gave her a nod. And then she fell asleep, lulled by the scent of roses.

**

The Doctor ducked to clear the low doorway.

"But I don't understand" she whispered. She rested quietly in his arms as he carried her through the ship. She hadn't originally thought the ship was that large. "How are we moving? Where are we going and why make that lock so that only you could open it?" The last two words were barely audible.

"I'll explain later," the Doctor pressed, quietly. "Rest now."

"I just feel a little tired"

"Your heart stopped for over three minutes, Tegan," he urged, giving her a glance that both pleaded and admonished. 

"It would help me to sleep better."

"It's intellectual and emotional blackmail," he sighed. With a final turn, he found a small room with a simple cotton covered bed in a room of vibrant blues and greens. He gave a hum and laid her down on the surface. "If my guess is correct" he began, standing back, his hands slipping into his pockets as he gazed down at her. "Our travel should only take five hours or so."

"Then you have plenty of time to tell me a bedtime story," she argued, her voice weak.

She didn't know if it was her voice or the look on her face but he sighed as if put out and slowly sat on the edge of the bed. "What was your question again?"

"Why here?"

"They Mayans had a habit in their cities of building tombs on top of tombs. Apparently they built on top of Illiana's ship. How are we moving? Similar technology to Gallifreyan I expect; I'm not quite sure. We are inter and intradimensional in this ship. They don't have control of time, but they do have control of dimension travel. She has simply slipped into another spatial dimension to free us of the temple and then will slip us back through the spatial dimension change. It's all rather simple compared to absolute time travel in the vortex, you see"

Tegan yawned.

"Yes, well," he bit his lip and contemplated her. "I suppose that explanation can wait for another time. And I am in a rather accommodating mood"

"Why that lock?" she breathed. Her eyelids were getting heavy. 

"A time lock?" the Doctor frowned. "That time lock was Gallifreyan in engineering. I would love to meet the Time Lord who put that together. It was rather personalized"

"You?" she asked, gently. "Could one of you have done it?"

He puffed a breath. "It's possible." Then with a smile, he shrugged. "As to why? She already explained that to you."

"And why did Haldian or Ares or whoever he istake my soul?"

His sudden frown chilled her a bit. "He wanted to stop me in my tracks. Other than that" His sigh was forced. "He just enjoys that sort of thing, Tegan."

She tried to make a joke, but sleep claimed her before she said a word.

**

It was morning when Illiana gently put them back to rights, as the Doctor put it. Morning, but still with partiers lining the streets. To Tegan, who was loathed to let the Doctor know she was indeed tired, it was like the massive gathering the morning after a party with a fair amount of the participants still drunk. She didn't have time to look behind her or say more of a goodbye than what she had muttered earlier. One moment she was asleep on the bed, the next moment she was standing in an empty garden near the center of the City with the Doctor's arm supporting her. 

She blinked. 

Music sounded from far away, there were beads on the ground next to flowers petals. A mask, an empty glass, a rosary, all the articles looked so very at home. Even her dress, although shortened, was still status quo for the festive atmosphere.

"Did we even leave here?" she asked, quietly. 

"Yes wellit might seem otherwise" the Doctor returned. "But yes, the last few days have indeed occurred." He steered her down a street, stopped after a moment and switched direction, pulling her in an easterly direction. "I rather think Turlough will be worried."

"Turlough?" Tegan joked. She found that she was smiling as they entered another crowd. When she glanced up at the Doctor's tired and dirty face, she saw its twin lightening his features. For the first time in a long time, she felt happy. She slipped her arm around his waist, waiting for the shying away that usually came from her contact. It never happened. Something had indeed changed in her, in him, between them. But from seeing her smiling face reflected back at her from a shop window, she decided not to ask about it. He was happy, she was happy, for once in her life that was enough.

There were many questions she wanted to ask, many conversations she wanted to have, but right then was not the time. She would wait. The Doctor sped up his pace until they were nearly running for the TARDIS. 


	10. Epilogue

Two days later

She found him in the cloisters. He sat on one of the stone benches in the back, surrounded by ivy and crumbling stone. His hands were folded over his lap, his arms lying on his legs. She glanced at his feet, and despite the weight of the atmosphere, smiled at the fact that his feet were turned in, like a child's. He had donned a new sweater and shirt. Despite their time in the jungle, he looked clean and relaxed. But his clean and neat exterior, she could sense the turmoil he was going through. 

Not that she completely understood the turmoil nor could even begin to guess to what it was in response. She knew why _she_ would be upset; she knew better than to transfer her very human feelings of possible regret and possible love to him. As Illiana had said, after all, she thought, he _was_ a Time Lord. A very large part of her wanted to just leave him be, but the TARDIS was hovering in the vortex, Turlough was bored and she had no Earthly idea what was going on anymore. It was time to deal with the problem directly, she supposed. And there was no time like the present.

"We've missed you these last two days," she said with a forced neutral voice, echoing his words from an age ago. 

He looked up, startled, his lips open and his eyes wide. He looked like a child with his hand caught in the cookie jar. 

"And well, I haven't heard any large furniture moving or any forced whistling in the corridors, nor have I heard any arguments about having to start chores somewhere" she tried to joke. When he only shifted his weight and continued to stare at her without a smile, she sighed. "I am making an effort, you know."

"Ah, well" he replied with a shrug. "I'm not quite sure I'm up to making one."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked, her voice hard with a catch.

He shook his head. "Not what you think, Tegan. I suppose you wish to talk."

"I do."

"And I'm not quite sure I'm ready, but there's no time like the present," he moved aside the tails of his frock coat and patted the bench. "Come join me."

She frowned and walked forward towards the bench. He had chosen one with sides and she comfortably sat, half-facing him. When she was settled, he shifted to face her as well, his legs crossing. 

The silence effected her and she blurted out the first thing that came to mind. "Where do you have the TARDIS pointed now?"

"Nowhere. We're in a holding pattern, so to speak. I'll have to adjust the path soon; we'll have to make a decision."

"That sounds serious," she commented. Then she crossed her arms over her chest. "But then again most things in being around you are simply because we take on the End of the Universe every time we walk out of the TARDIS."

He nodded, throwing her a chastising look as he rubbed his thighs. "Yes, wellit is serious."

"It's about Haldian, isn't it?"

"In more ways than one, yes," he replied. Then he jumped up and paced back and forth in front of the bench. His coat tails nearly swept her legs as he walked by. He twisted at the end of one of his laps and faced her. He slipped his hands into his trouser pockets and contemplated her with what she felt was a penetrating gaze. His eyes were nearly gray in that light. And for the first time in three days, she wanted her ability to see auras back. It might have given her a clue. 

"Is it about"

"Our night in the jungle?" he asked, his voice catching on the final syllable. He bent a little at his waist and continued to hold her gaze. 

She nodded and held her hands up as if warding off evil. "You said distance was needed to discuss it rationally and we have had some distance."

"Yes," he responded quietly. Then after a deep breath, he repeated the word. 

She wet her lips and studying him. A large part of her wanted to weep, but she simply said: "You regret it."

The Doctor sighed and she could tell that he was very worried about saying or doing the wrong thing. "I regret that it was in a jungle, Tegan, for one. It really would have been much more comfortable in a bed, don't you think?"

"Is that all?" she replied quietly and quickly, heated. The question was weighted, heavy with meaning. She was surprised to hear it in her voice.

He glanced about for another seat and collapsed back on the stone bench across from her. "Yes, well, Tegan, I was quiteliberal."

Her shaky breath must have affected him because he sat forwards to extend a hand to calm her. "Hear me out, Tegan."

"Was what Haldian said about you true?"

"To an extent, yes," he responded. 

Tegan frowned and began to rise, but he reached out to catch her hand. "Bloody well make the point, Doctor," she warned. "I don't much appreciate dancing around a bush."

He rocked forward. He looked uneasy, but he swallowed and seemed to gather inner strength. "Fine, as you wish. What Haldian said to you on the street was true. What he said in the cavern was mostly true."

"You wanted me back. You wanted me"

"Physically, yes," he helped. He smiled suddenly, a teasing wide smile. "Terran women are known the galaxy over for their feminine intuition. Didn't you have an idea when we were dancing?"

Tegan continued to frown. "It wasn't as though we were smack against one another"

His smile vanished. "No, I suppose not. But needless to say: Haldian was correct in saying I wanted you." He cleared his throat and rubbed his neck. 

"And that you were manipulating me because you knew that"

"That humans equate sexual interaction with responsibility of relationship in some form? That you would think that we were in some sort of romantic entanglement?" He frowned, but held her hand more tightly. "Do you think that, Tegan?"

"No, I don't think so; I don't know but I'm not quite sure that you didn't"

He pulled his hand back from hers and leaped up to pace away from her. "Wasn't it you that said that our friendship had to go somewhere? You were correct that we can't go back and change what has happened between us. Our friendship had to evolve or devolve."

"Well yes"

He faced her. "Manipulation didn't cross my mind, Tegan. I don't think it crossed yours either, did it?"

"Well, no" she sighed. 

"I'm not used to this" The Doctor's sigh was loud. "Romantic entanglements are the ultimate in intervention, Tegan. Have I ever mentioned that?"

Her smile was ironic. "I don't believe you have. But then again, how often do our conversations involve anything other than explaining later, running for the TARDIS and being asked to be quiet?"

"Yes, well" he returned, lowering his head. Then he lifted his hands to count off points on his fingers. "There is a measure of affection between us, yes? Yes. Our friendship was in the process of changing, on my behalf as well as yours, yes? Yes."

"Was it?"

"Changing on my behalf. Of course it was, Tegan," he answered his voice haughty. "I did.yes, umask you to stay. And I did, quite willingly, agree to have intercourse. Of course it was changing. How do you feel about all of this"

"What?" He had switched directions in the conversation so quickly that she felt her head begin to spin.

He nodded, waving his hand in the air as if trying to force the answer from her. "Our.our friendship"

She frowned. It seemed as though the Doctor's thoughts were jumbled. When she didn't answer immediately, he leaned further forward. "Well, Tegan?"

"I enjoyed it. It seemed a natural progression, but then again, I'm only speaking from a human's point of view," she admitted with a splash of sarcasm. "I don't regret it"

"Well then, that's settled isn't it?" he pressed. 

"Is it, I wonder," Tegan replied. She was right: his thoughts were either completely jumbled or so far ahead of her that she couldn't see his logic flow. 

"Have you missed something?" the Doctor asked worried.

Tegan shook her head tiredly. "Well, I can't bloody well keep up with your mind and reading it is very much out of the question. But answer me something, please?"

"All right. If I can."

"Why did you agree toshag?"

He walked forward to stand very near her. His face was thoughtful and his demeanor calm. "You're worried it was from the change in my mind? The ability to feel attraction to you soso strongly was from Haldian's change to my brain chemistry, yes. The affection and caring I have for you is my own. It was there before; it is there now. It seemed a natural act at the time, a natural progression as you say. Or at least normal in a large proportion of the galaxy's cultures."

She nodded; that satisfied some of her questions. "Will it happen again?"

"I don't know," he said, serious and thoughtful. "Do you want it to?"

"Possibly, yes," she admitted, raising her chin to look at him defiantly. "I don't know. Do you?"

"Possibly, yes," he replied, his eyes avoiding hers. "I don't know if it can or if it will, Tegan. Honestly, I don't know."

He nodded, and then shoved his hands deeply into his pockets. "Do you want to go home, Tegan?"

"What?! No," she replied. She hadn't thought of going home. Something had changed. "I don't fearwhat I did about youthe warehouse No. No, I don't want to go home. Not right now"

Again, he nodded. "Good, very good. Excellent, in fact. That was, of course, the next question I was going to ask you. That question was what made this conversation serious. Based on our new understanding in our friendship, the things that happened, your"

She suddenly remembered his face above hers when she had come awake on the floor of Illiana's ship. He had been shaken, upset, slightly unhinged. His hands had shook from that time until they had entered the TARDIS and he had shut the door. "Are we back to that again? I'm fine, Doc. Indestructible, remember? I'm alive, I'm breathing"

"You had to be saved by a soul bridge. That's something I neither have the ability nor knowledge to do. If Illiana hadn't been there, you wouldn't have lived," he continued gruffly. "And you're quite within your rights, despite any understanding that we have or haven't come to, to request to go home because of that, Tegan."

"Only because of that?" she joked and then continued, quieter. " And if we hadn't bumped into Illiana, none of this would have occurred in the first place. The soul bridge wouldn't have been needed. I'm fine. And as for my earlier argument about not understanding you any longer"

"Yes?" he asked, curious.

"I don't think I ever will," she responded, glumly. "But I have come to terms with it, somewhat."

She shook her head. She was more confused now than she had been before she talked with him. She was sure he had revealed some things, but it was all hidden and jumbled and made her head ache. With a rub to her brow, she sighed. He clapped her on the shoulder, his hand lingering. "Well nowwhere shall we go next?" he asked, suddenly full of energy.

"Somewhere relaxing. And you aren't allowed to walk out the door of the TARDIS until we know the End of the Universe isn't going to happen," she replied. She turned, and started to walk away. She stopped when his hand reached out to wrap around her wrist and slid down to catch her hand. He fell into step along side of her. This action, more than his words, alerted her that something had indeed changed between them. He was showing her he cared.

"Would it help if I promised that would be the case?" he offered with a wry smile.

"You have a very poor track record for your promises, lad," she replied. 

His smile widened and they made their way through the corridors. She felt that something different had changed between them. She knew there was more that he wasn't telling her, that he probably couldn't tell her. The warehouse seemed very far away, for the first time in two weeks, and she felt relaxed and close to him once more. 

"Have a little faith, Tegan," he admonished, his stride taking him a little in front of her.

I do, she thought suddenly. _I do have faith, but in what, I don't know. _But she knew she had faith in him again. And that was enough. She quickened her pace, feeling his fingers interlace with hers. Together, hand in hand, they strolled for the console room. 

__


End file.
